With apologies to none at all
By Vikas Mehta
Inspired by some memes and posts of ads that appeared during the World Cup Cricket, my ‘hatke’ take on the same.
It’s not just us Indians who are proud of our culture. The Aussies were offended by the use of ‘fork’, the two fingered sign with the palm-facing inward, common in Australia as a slur, which the Bollywood stars used in the Vimal elaichi ad. The Aussies were infuriated. How dare these stars pass off something insulting, as something acceptable? And that my readers is the simple answer as to why we were outplayed by the Aussies in the final.
Can’t afford medical insurance premiums? No problems. Just yank away the plaster from your hand or simply walk away while still in your surgery gown and attached to the drip. Don’t believe me? Oh! I forgot to give you an alternative solution. Simply pay your premiums every month via PhonePay.
Talking about PhonePe, if you cannot digest big payments use PhonePe lite. It’s as lite as not having to remember your PIN.
Now we know the secret of how children playing badminton, can become champions. By playing alone at night on mud courts with Polycab cables lighting up the place.
It’s only the older, retired, mature cricketers who can handle Kamla Pasand. Or maybe Kamla Pasand can afford them only.
You thought Danube is a river? Naah! It’s a builder in Dubai.
Never go to buy a mixer grinder with your wife. Unless you only want Sujata mixer
If I follow Dream 11 philosophy, Indian players did not lift the World Cup as they did not do some heavy lifting. Literally. I didn’t say it. Rishabh Pant said that.
Hardik could not recover from his injury as he did some strenuous shots for Jindal Panther ad which dominated the airwaves even after he retired hurt, out of the tournament.
Dhoni is no more in demand as Indigo paint is a better crowd puller
The Thums Up toofan did not blow away the doubts in the mind of Rohit, Bumrah, Siraj & Jadeja but the Toofan worked for SRK.
Lays wanted us to stock up on the brand as Dhoni drops in to random homes to see the match, with the condition that Lays is available at those homes. I mean, Dhoni cannot afford a TV?
Kit Kat fingers crossed was inspired by Rohit Sharma’s wife’s screen presence.
Rahul Dravid was more dependable for MAK lubricant than for team India.
The Aussies were definitely watching the world cup ads. Maybe they wanted some endorsement deals! But they took the Sprite ads very seriously. The team was Thand Rakh personified.
Nobody takes Oreo seriously. They had said mat bol. And, we took for granted that the world cup is ours!
Fog is a storm, not perfume.
And even dogs sulk when they hear nationalistic spiel in such ads.
Lendingkart hai toh business is good. So, no need for business schools churning out MBAs?
Maybe, Lenskart didn’t give SKY the correct lens.
Snickers made a noobie mistake in trying to link the brand to cricket. Err! What’s a noobie mistake, please?
Good for Amul that neither SA or SL or Afghanistan defeated India. Else nationalists would have had to butter their toast with some other brand.
It seems PC Chandra Jewellers is in property business too as it advises us to own a piece of Calcutta. No Kolkata baiters?
Size is important for Ranvir Singh. Sorry, I mean Royal Stag. Actually, just make it large.
And Dettol soap also wants us to believe the same.
For Neena Gupta foreign sounding exotic names matter. No am not talking about her partner or daughter. Just look at her choice for Electronic scooters. So, what if one cannot remember or pronounce it.
Mahindra SUVs have set a very high benchmark for their breaks. If your father in law comes in front it stops. Is that why the foreign sounding protagonist looked displeased? Or because they did not want to show an Indian son law symbolising stereotypical, son in law, father in law relationship? How very correct!
And suddenly many automobiles ads are also paying lip service to women power. All being driven by women. What’s the desired response? Women have arrived? Safe driving? Women handling power? Naah! It’s just a tick box.
Tide is only about colour? Not Whites? By default therefore is Ariel about whites only?
Surf Excel Matic liquid is about mummy getting angry about stains. And I thought Surf Excel stood for stains are good.
I had fun doing these as watching the ads seemed to be a better idea than watching all those boring one-sided matches. Not that the ads were very interesting. They competed with the matches to fight for the boredom crown. But at least I could look at their brighter side.
If you have some more interesting takes on the ads telecast during the World Cup, write into the comments column.
Vikas Mehta is a senior marketing and business strategist based in Dehradun. He writes on MxMIndia every other Monday. His views here are personal.
