MxMIndia

Tag: anil thakraney

  • If a trainee copywriter came to me with such a script, I would recommend the chap to a psychiatrist.

    Debrief: Unbelievably silly of Volkswagen

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    So, the madness that Volkswagen is notorious for in the print medium (remember speaking newspapers and pages with holes?) has spilled onto the television medium. Except, while the print madness at least got the brand to be discussed, the TV ad is so stupid, you can only scoff and wonder what the hell the Volkswagen guys are up to.

     

     

    The commercial I watched deals with some ‘unbelievable’ offers on their two brands, Vento and Polo. It features a cross dresser at the car showroom, and he/she keeps harassing the salesman about the offers. And the latter, quite exasperated, berates the customer for repeatedly asking the same questions. This weird exchange goes on. The idea is this: Because the offers are so incredible, you won’t believe them and shall keep confirming them at the showroom.

     

    Completely ridiculous advertising. While I am all for mad, it has to be fun mad and not juvenile mad, if you know what I mean. Not only does this ad repel you, it also tells you Volkswagen thinks their consumers are morons and that the company salesmen have the right to treat them poorly. Let me also add this: If a trainee copywriter came to me with such a script, I would recommend the chap to a psychiatrist.

     

    Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5):  A BIG ZERO. The joke’s on Volkswagen. 

  • What I don’t like about what’s happening is that the Indian media only stands up for the middle class, for ‘people like us’.

    Hard Knocks: How the Indian media doesn’t champion the cause of ‘lesser’ children

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Just as it happened with crimes against Priyadarshini Matoo and Jessica Lal, our news channels have been busy doing shows on the dead young men from Mumbai, Keenan and Reuben. Just in case you are a Martian, the two were killed by some drunken elements when they protested against sexual harassment of the girls accompanying them. And yes, it’s nice that the media stands up for such people and puts pressure on the system for swift deliverance of justice. So, good show.

    However, what I don’t like about what’s happening is that the Indian media only stands up for the middle class, for ‘people like us’. Because crimes in the metro towns attract more attention, and I daresay, they also excite the advertisers. Which perhaps explains all the campaigns for justice. But the media must also stand up for crimes committed against the have-nots from interior India and run similar campaigns for justice on their behalf, even if this doesn’t interest the advertisers too much. Not just because residents of rural areas are Indians (lest we’ve forgotten), but because they are human beings too and their lives are just as precious.

    To illustrate this apathy with an example, let’s take the case of the heinous crime that was committed in the ‘unhappening’ Khairlanji village of Maharashtra some years ago. Priyanka Bhotmange was attacked by twelve men. They strapped her to a bullock cart as one would a disobedient animal, and dragged her out to the village chaupal. Then, they took turns to rape her, following which they completely stripped her and paraded their ‘trophy’. This was followed by beating her naked body with bicycle chains and publicly gang raping her all over again… and this went on till the mutilated Priyanka stopped breathing. However, not satisfied, the goons continued. The teenage corpse was raped yet again. On realizing the dead body was no longer rape-worthy, the men shoved iron rods into her blood clotted genitals and used pickaxes to disfigure her face.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnGI76__sSA&feature=youtube_gdata_player[/youtube]

    Did the news channel run aggressive campaigns on her behalf? Were candle light marches held in her memory? Did the media keep the pressure going to get justice for her? The answer to these questions is a sad ‘NO’. Aside from the odd, reluctant story, Priyanka was quickly forgotten. And this, quite obviously, is unfair.

    So yes, I am proud that the media fights for the middle class urban victims of crimes. But I would be happier if this passion is also on display for the children of the lesser god.

     

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    PS: Lilting tributes continue to pour in for Steve Jobs. Here’s a lovely one from Jonathan Ive, the Senior Vice President of Industrial Design at Apple Inc. No, we can’t have enough of Jobs, keep them coming! What a man!

  • Hard Knocks: It could do well if briefs were concise and precise… perhaps in 140 characters!

    Anil Thakraney: Any one for brief briefs?

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    A firangi ad pal has come up with a fantastic idea: Clients and ad agency client servicing people should brief creative people only on Twitter. That, no other method should be used, and all current briefing formats must be junked. Brilliant! Because this means the suits will be compelled to tell their creative folks what the advertising needs to communicate in just 140 characters. And it will cut the temptation to file pages and pages of irrelevant info and put out excessive demands from an advert. This will result in sharp, focussed communications.

     

    I recall some years ago when I was in the advertising biz, I did recommend a similar sort of thing. I once bought a wad of tickets from a Mumbai BEST bus conductor. And then circulated the little tickets amongst the agency client servicing people and account planners, insisting that briefs must only be written on the back of the bus ticket. One brief per ticket. Of course, they were outraged. How can one state everything on that size of a paper, was the common protest. Yes, they missed the point completely. Which is the need to keep the brief simple and single-minded, state one promise that the ad must deliver on, and remove all the so-called secondary data, which planners and suits feel very tempted to load on. And which is not just unnecessary, it confuses the hell out of creative people.

     

    Well, no need for bus tickets any more. Technology has provided the answer. Tell your creative people in 140 characters what the ad must communicate and who it should address. If you can do this, chances are very high you’ll get a much better creative output. And if you refuse to tweet and continue to dart out large e-mails, then don’t blame your creative people for coming up with laundry garbage.

     

    Now let me sum up the above column in exactly 140 characters and you’ll notice it still works! No reason a brief should not.

    My tweet: “Mr Suit: Tell me who the target audience is. The brand promise. The desired brand personality. The media vehicles. And then leave me alone!”

    Happy tweeting!

     

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    PS: Loved it that hunky star Akshay Kumar chucked the empty ciggie pack back into the face of the car driver who had carelessly thrown it on to the street. We must all learn from Akshayji. Just one question: How did the hero manage to grab a picture of the incident? Does he take his publicist along wherever he goes? Hmmm.

     

    Image courtesy: Mumbai Mirror.

  • I find it appalling that the Bachchan-baby-obsessed media has so quickly forgotten the humiliation of the recent past.

    Anil Thakraney: Why the media must boycott Abhi-Ash baby birth

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Aishwarya’s yet-to-be-born baby has become national news. Front pages of newspapers and prime time programming on television carry minute details of the event. Astrologers have been consulted to predict the sex of the baby, and the whole nation knows which hospital has been chosen for the historic delivery.

    Well, I am not going into the importance of the story vis-à-vis more pressing matters, that’s for Shri Katju to worry about. I just find it appalling that the Bachchan-baby obsessed media has so quickly forgotten the humiliation of the recent past. Remember the Big Wedding? When journalists waiting outside Pratiksha and Jalsa for days together were completely ignored by the Bachchan clan. When some photographers were beaten up by Amitabh’s then chhote bhaiyya Amar Singh’s goons. When the newly wed couple didn’t even extend the courtesy of emerging for a single photograph.

     

    Yup, it’s all forgotten. The media is back to cover the baby birth with full gusto. And the journos are ready to get humiliated all over again. Have we no shame? Have we become so beygairat? In fact, according to Mumbai Mirror, a guideline has been issued by the Broadcast Editors’ Association on how TV channels must conduct themselves during the event! And to think this sort of a guideline ought to have been issued during the 26/11 terror attacks, and who knows… some lives could have been saved. Tells you how jumbled up our priorities are. While to some extent I can understand the junta’s interest in the new member’s arrival inside India’s ‘first family’ household, if we in the media have any self respect left, we should boycott the event.

    Of course, that’s not going to happen. Kya karein, we are like that only.

     

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    PS: Speaking of Beygairat Brigade, here’s the whacko Pak band with their popular number titled ‘Aalu Anday’. An otherwise ordinary track that became a rage courtesy the social media. Intersperse faces of the lads with those of our popular TV anchors and the song works marvellously!

  • Full credit to the ad agency for making Birla Cement’s comatose promise come alive.

    Debrief: Berserk advertising

    By Anil Thakraney

    A very boring product offer: Use Birla Cement Wall Care Putty to prevent your walls from chipping and flaking. It’s the sort of brief that would put many creative directors to sleep. Given that, full credit to the ad agency for making such a comatose promise come alive.

    The commercial features a man combing his hair as he notices that his pet parrot has started ‘shedding dandruff’. Panicked, the chap informs everyone in the neighbourhood, and it quickly becomes a huge story. Naturally, television channels get into the act, and soon the whole of India is mystified by the parrot that sheds dandruff. Finally, the parrot spills the beans. The chipping walls in the house have flakes falling on its head, which results in the parrot having to constantly shake its head to dust them off. Like dandruff. The message: ‘Chahiye papdi se chhutti, lagao Birla White Wall Care putty’.

    [youtube width=”375″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElTzNnl2qXw&feature=related[/youtube]Good fun, I am all for the absolute madness in this commercial. A dull product like wall putty needs some serious clutter-breaking advertising in order to get noticed. And Birla Cement has achieved that. Also, the TVC nicely reflects the dumbing down of the television media, and that makes the ad even more entertaining. Wonder if editors of channels like India TV, Star News and Aaj Tak would cringe a bit when they broadcast this ad. They should.

     

    Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5): 3.5 Good example of how to get excitement going on a boring product.

  • We need to once again take a hard look and check if what the Press Council chairman says is entirely wrong. Some-soul searching would actually do us good, and perhaps we’ll hire better personnel in the media.

    Hard Knocks: Sadly, Mr Katju may have a point

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    The Chairman of the Press Council of India, Justice Markandey Katju, is determined to sort the Indian media out. Some days back I expressed skepticism on whether he’ll succeed in his noble endeavours. Here’s the link to that piece.

    http://www.mxmindia.com/2011/10/hard-knocks-katju%e2%80%99s-unreal-expectations/

    It appears Mr Katju read my post (hehe), and perhaps out of frustration, has lashed out at the Indian media. He’s basically questioning our skills, integrity and competency levels. Naturally, there’s collective outrage in the media frat, and an angry desi media is a dangerous beast, you don’t mess with it. I would be quite surprised if Katju remains for very long in his chair.

    Having said that, and having been sufficiently offended, we need to once again take a hard look and check if what the man says is entirely wrong. Some soul-searching would actually do us good, and perhaps we’ll hire better personnel in the media. So let’s examine Katju’s critique and his three key problems.

    He says the Indian media divides people on religious lines and is anti-people. A sweeping generalization, no doubt. But there IS a section of the media that caters to specific communities and their respective communal biases. A section is even aligned with political parties. And this ideological bias comes to the fore during riots and elections. So what Katju says isn’t entirely wrong.

    He says TV channels focus on cricket and other celebrities. And Katju doesn’t like that very much. Well, that’s true. We do pay too much attention to entertainment and celebs, and I am guilty of that too. And often hard news gets buried somewhere. Yes, we do need to worry about excessive flooze in the media, for sure. But I don’t know how this will ever get sorted out. Because the truth is: Advertisers are more interested in Katrina Kaif’s fashion mantra rather than the survival plans of the family members of that RTI activist who got killed. That’s the sad commercial reality.

    He believes journalists have not studied economics, politics, literature and philosophy. Is he entirely wrong? Switch on the news channels and you’ll notice the general knowledge skills of most anchors and reporters. Yes, it needs a lot of beefing up, we have to admit that. Most journalists are too busy chasing celebs to find time to read Shakespeare, that’s another fact of media life.

    Bottom line: It’s easy to get offended by Shri Katju’s crazy generalizations. And dismiss them as outbursts of an angsty uncle. Still, it will serve us well to pay attention. He isn’t entirely inaccurate.

     

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    PS: Watch this show as Barkha Dutt interviews a Google chief. You’ll notice what a struggle it is for her to have a meaningful conversation with a new media specialist. It’s not her fault, really. Most of us old-world journos would find it tough going. A glaring example of the schism between the old media and the new media. Also, hope Mr Katju didn’t watch this one. Else he’ll accuse us of being zero on media, apart from literature and philosophy!

     

    Link: http://www.ndtv.com/video/player/news/in-the-google-of-things/215082

  • I like the idea of taking a quiet break from life, of taking some time off on a hurried day. And a nice, delightful dessert goes well in that situation.

    Anil Thakraney’s Debrief: Nice idea

    McDonald’s has launched an icy new dessert called McFlurry. I did try it out the other day and was left quite unimpressed. Would like to discuss that in detail, but since I don’t get paid to do food reviews, let’s cut to the chase.

     

    The idea is ‘Slow down in life with McFlurry’. The commercial features very busy people taking a leisurely break over a McFlurry. Essentially corporate execs and other rushed souls. I like the idea of taking a quiet break from life, of taking some time off on a hurried day. And a nice, delightful dessert goes well in that situation. The execution is cool, too. A laidback jingle, assorted people cooling off… the commercial does catch the spirit of slowing down. The situations could have been more interesting, but that’s fine. That can be corrected as the idea evolves. So, all in all, a good one.

     

    However, here’s a request for McDonald’s: They must make it clear that the McFlurry is a ‘take-away’ dessert that people must purchase and scoot. And that’s because youngsters and families often spend hours doing time-pass at McDonald’s over a single Fanta, happily ignoring the long queues outside. And forgetting that McDonald’s is a ‘fast food’ joint. With ‘slow down’ as the message, I fear these guys will hang out over a McFlurry for hours together!

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3tK9K6W_po[/youtube]
     Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5): 3. Good idea. Neat treatment.

     


  • Truth be told, Radia only did her job. She may have been involved in murky negotiations, but all she did was ride an already corrupt and rotting political system.

    Hard Knocks: Radia was not the one to blame

    By Anil Thakraney

    Make no mistake about this: Niira Radia did no wrong. At least, technically she did no wrong. The seductress has announced her retirement from corporate PR, citing health and family reasons, but we all know better. No corporate suit would want to continue to use her organisation’s services post Radiagate.

    But truth be told, Radia only did her job. She may have been involved in murky negotiations, but all she did was ride an already corrupt and rotting political system. Exactly the way many of us bribe our way out of red-taped procedures, not because we are dishonest, but because the straight route is much too painful and time-consuming. So what exactly did Radia do? She aggressively lobbied for her clients, was proactive, cut deals, influenced ministerial berth allotments, won the goodwill of powerful journalists… pretty much all that a solid PR person ought to be doing. Her only guilt was that her methods were hard-edged and her objectives cut-throat, but that’s about it. She was handling mighty corporate accounts, and the demands must have been heavy.

    In short, Radia only pressed those buttons which work in this nation. In that context, terming the scandal ‘Radiagate’ is unfair in itself. Give me a Radia any day over those nice but ineffective PR people who sit back and issue press releases for a fat fee.

    The hard reality is that the actual culprits were the netas, the babus and the journalists who fell for her charms, compromised their positions, and were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. She tempted, they fell like nine pins. It is they who ought to have paid for their follies. And while some politicians are in jail, nothing happened to the journalists. For them, life goes on as if it was a minor career hiccup. The ‘gate’ ought to have been named after one of these worthies.

    Anyway… goodbye, Niira. You spend quality time with your family as the corporate world gets busy hiring expert press-release-issuing chicks.

     

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    PS: So, Shakti Kapoor got kicked out of the Bigg Boss mad house. What a moron he is! The channel expected him to molest a few ladies (there are 13 in the house) and he ended up behaving like Mahatma Gandhi! Now I can believe the show isn’t scripted.

     

     

  • Micromax is notorious for over-the-top and often offensive advertising, so this commercial came as no surprise to me.

    Debrief: A shining ad!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Here’s the Micromax ad that did not leave actor Shiney Ahuja very amused. And he’s taken legal action against the advertiser.

     

    Now, Micromax is notorious for over-the-top and often offensive advertising, so this commercial came as no surprise to me. It sits in well with their brand personality. A young lady excitedly tells her female friend that her hubby, whose name is Shiney, has bought her a new Micromax Bling handset. And she’s surprised to find that the naughty Shiney has bought the same instrument for her pal too. But she gets the shock of her life when the housemaid declares Mr Shiney has bought one for her too!

     

    Hahaha. I think the ad is very funny and very Micromax. I like advertising that cleverly ties in the brand’s message with current affairs. It just makes the communication that much more engaging. It’s a pity that Shiney Ahuja lacks a sense of humour. Also, if he had kept quiet, some people would have noticed the ad. Now that he’s protested, many more will. Enjoy!

    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBascDwOIiQ[/youtube]

    Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5): Full 5! I am still laughing! 

  • Since most events are usually private/low-scale functions, no one discusses the bloopers, and life simply goes on. But we get caught with our pants down when they are held on a mega scale, when the world is watching.

    Hard Knocks: Event mismanagement

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Whenever I get invited to participate in an event, my first reaction is to hesitate. And this is because, of the many I have visited in my life, most have turned out to be shoddily organized. Mismanagement of crowds, late start, poor banquet service, clueless hosts/hostesses… it’s a long list of gripes. And this turns out to be the case even when professional event managers have been hired. I must also add here, the few events I have visited in London, Cannes and New York, were a pleasure. Which is why I have always wondered why we screw things up in India.

    Since most events are usually private/low-scale functions, no one discusses the bloopers, and life simply goes on. But we get caught with our pants down when they are held on a mega scale, when the world is watching. Our pathetic show at the Commonwealth Games, and now with the mess on Metallica’s performance in Gurgaon, has made us look like bloody jokers.

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”300″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VELQ39QAYP4[/youtube]

    I really don’t understand why we Indians make for such poor planners and executors. Maybe it’s in our DNA. Or, we can blame it on bad karma, as we usually do for everything! However, here’s a hunch: I suspect our event management companies are not being run professionally. And they aren’t being held accountable for flop shows. Perhaps a hefty fine for botched events may make them pull up their socks. I wonder if these people train their staffers on the skills required to run an event. If there’s any quality control in place. I would stick my neck out and say that most staffers are hired based on their general enthusiasm and little else. When the ground reality is that running a huge event takes a lot more than enthusiasm. It needs astute planning skills, a resourceful temperament and a jihadic passion to execute a successful event.

    Our event management companies need to clean up their houses. Or be ready to get penalized for bringing embarrassment to the host. Or to the whole country on occasion.

     

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    PS: Haha. Came across this funny ad on the need to wear proper lenses. Must say the dude reminds me of a bumbling Indian event manager. Just kidding!

  • My life has changed totally after I moved from advertising to journalism. For the better, of course.

    Anil Thakraney: It’s changed my life. No, really

    My life has changed totally after I moved from advertising to journalism. For the better, of course. Here’s how:

     

    I earn a lot less. This means no boozing, no smoking and no partying. In fact, I have had to give up on all good things in life. No problem, this keeps me fit. I am 10 kgs lighter now.

     

    I seldom get invited to parties. And Page 3 parties, in particular, are totally out of the question. This has to do with the ‘unhip’ journalism I do. No one wants to risk pissing their VIP guests off with me in the house. But this also means I have started doing yoga in the nights. Healthier than partying, no?

     

    Folks in Mumbai go to jail if they are caught driving drunk. But I get into serious strife for parking in a no-parking area. And that’s because I once did a sting operation on corrupt traffic havaldars. And these guys have a wonderful memory, aside from deep pockets. But that’s cool. Anyway I hardly drive because of the killing petrol prices.

     

    I have spent many hours in the company of beautiful movie stars. Kareena Kapoor, Sonam Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra, to name a few. Asking them about their intimate secrets and desires. What fun! But I have also discovered how vulnerable, ambitious and insecure they are, just like the rest of us. I emerged from these meetings totally disillusioned. But that’s okay. I can boast to my mama who lives in Alwar that I have Priyanka’s cell number.

     

    I have discovered that all the cricketing gods I idolized since childhood are actually quite petty, opportunistic and materialistic people. That they give a rat’s arse for their fans, and have interest only in making money. This has left me depressed for sure, but there’s an upside: I watch very little cricket now. Good. I have time to follow more productive passions.

     

    My not-very-sweet views on netas and underworld dons over the years have worried my family members a lot. They fear I may not return home one day. But that’s fine. At least I feel wanted by someone.

     

    And of course, people now look at me with a little more respect, which was not the case in advertising. When I last went for a snack to a very packed Kailash Parbat at Lokhandwala, the manager told me I’ll have to wait one hour forty minutes for a table. When I proudly told him I am a happening journo, he very graciously reduced the waiting time. To one hour thirty five minutes.

     

    Yup, it’s great to be in the media!

  • How do I gift stuff to anyone if all my savings have been burnt on getting KLPD*? Still, three ads caught my attention.

    Debrief: The Diwali Special

    By Anil Thakraney

    Diwali special

     

    Not much Diwali themed ad action this season. Guess because the sentiment is a bit dull in the market place, thanks to the heavy inflation. How do I gift stuff to anyone if all my savings have been burnt on getting KLPD? *(For the one-track mind wallahs, that’s Kerosene, LPG, Petrol, Diesel.)

    Still, three ads caught my attention. The Cadbury’s ad I have already dealt with earlier. The other two are from Coke and Big Bazaar.

    `

    [youtube width=”320″ height=”200″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfH9hm9Ea7o[/youtube]
    Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5): 2. Only for the jingle. Watch this commercial with your eyes shut, and it works rather nicely!

    Coke: Great audio, poor video

    To begin with, there’s no direct connect between a soft drink and Diwali. No one gifts a cola on D-day. Unless, of course, very subtly the Coca Cola guys are asking us to do just that, since we are all so bloody broke! Coke’s ad wants us to light ‘two extra diyas’ this Diwali. I suppose this is an extension of their ‘open happiness’ idea. And the execution involves kids lighting diyas at their regular haunts. College canteen, girls’ hostel, on the wall that serves as ‘stumps’ for their cricket matches, etc.

    I think it’s a nice idea wasted on juvenile imagery. Coke should have taken the ‘share happiness’ route and come up with situations that are touching and emotional without being heavy. ‘Khushiyaan baanto’ as a concept lends itself to emotion very well. Even the jingle is warm and tugs at the heart. But the silly visuals leave you cold and detached. I suspect this is what happens in the desperation to feature kids at all costs. Even accepting that, surely there’s more to youngsters than canteen and cricket.

     

    Rating: (On a scale of 1 to 5): 3.5. For the advertiser’s deep empathy with the target consumers. 

    Big Bazaar: Relevant and thoughtful

    It’s a simple, no-frills Diwali commercial. And you know what? It works perfectly well for me. Because the idea and the execution reflect a clear and sharp understanding of Big Bazaar’s core target market.

    The TVC features a teenage girl inside her home. She looks fed up of her regular salwar kameez, and yearns for a stylish one she spots in a magazine. The setting and the casting clearly tell you this is a lower middle class household. However, her dad, who’s decorating the house, smiles and tells her: ‘Diwali aa rahi hai’. And yes, it’s time to hit Big Bazaar and get hold of that salwar kameez, and more!

    Good one. I like the fact that Big Bazaar is totally clued in on their key customers, which is the middle and the lower middle class segment. And this results in an engaging, warm, and very relevant communication. Big Bazaar and the ad agency will definitely not win any awards for this effort, but the store will surely get many footfalls this festive season. And in the end, that’s what really matters.