By Jaisurya Das
Hello and welcome back to India’s very own ‘smack on the face‘ counselling column for the media, marketing and advertising fraternity.
Just a week ago, I wrote an article on this site about depression and its perils. The importance of recognising seemingly unconnected symptoms and seeking help when necessary is often ignored unfortunately.
While most content writers would be thrilled to get a staggering 16,000 page views for their piece, for me this was an eyeopener! I am happy that so many people gave this attention, but somewhere it also means that there is huge number of us who are affected by this directly or indirectly.
What is going wrong? Is it our race that is genetically unprepared to handle the modern world or is it just our abuse of the body and mind?
I asked this very question to a senior neurologist and an equally senior psychiatrist earlier this week. Â It was exceedingly worrying to hear that my neurologist friend gets over 40 young patients per week who complain of uncontrollable headaches, giddiness and insomnia. Apparently in almost all the cases, the latent cause is far from a neurological disorder, and is attributed to stress and lifestyle disorders.
Cut to the psychiatrist and it isn’t very different! Twenty patients a week and all between 21 and 35 feeling wired up, disoriented, complaining of acute insomnia, tremors, anxiety, nasty tempers and so on.
Alcohol abuse, lack of any regimen, multi-tasking beyond capability and the infinite quest for the pinnacle of success are some of the diagnosed triggers I was informed.
Ladies and Gentleman, where are we headed? As parents we give everything, and yet fall short of being able to rein in our children from abusing their system. As corporate citizens, we join the youth in leading a lifestyle that is anybody’s guess, and as friends, we disregard what may just be the most critical aspect of a friends life !
It’s not enough calling and checking on someone who is going through depression. No, it’s not enough waiting to be invited. Someone who is in it badly won’t want anyone around. It’s for us to move that one step ahead to extend the hand of help. Yes, you will face anger, indifference and more…but that’s what friends are for aren’t they? Don’t forget, it could be you.
It can happen to any of us, any time, with no apparent cause and yet with help 100 per cent  recovery is more than possible. Please do not turn your face away from someone who is going through depression. God forbid, It may just be you tomorrow!
Have the patience and understanding.
Be that pillar of support and not a cowardly sprinter.
We can make a huge difference. Believe me, it’s possible…!
Am sorry I had to take you through an intense few paras but I just don’t want to stop trying to get everyone’s attention to a malaise that can well become the next swine flu…
I think it’s safest for me to cut to the Q & A for the week lest my readers disown me completely…
Ladies and Gentlemen, from the cities of Pune, Mumbai, Delhi and last but not the least Kottayam for the first time this season…Welcome 🙂
Recently my colleague was reprimanded and penalised for being seen at a nightspot consuming alcohol. Is there a law restraining employees on their behaviour outside work?
No, there isn’t a law such, as far as I know ! However, corporates and educational institutions are getting increasingly tougher with their decorum policy.
To be honest, I don’t blame them considering that this has been precipitated by a series of incidents involving employees across locations. To make things worse, quite a few of these incidents turn nasty and end up having legal ramifications. That’s when the company has to step in to sort things out and use their good offices to diplomatically solve these issues.  Prevention is better than cure, I guess !
I agree that this is policing beyond what is necessary and everyone has a life beyond work hours but not at the expense of decorum. As is the case with most things, a few rotten eggs ruin the entire basket!
Hopefully things will stabilise and we will all see a regimen-free world to live in, but that can happen only if we ourselves behave responsibly in the first place. Yes, irrespective of whether it’s under the influence of alcohol or not!
Is it advisable to avoid working in the same organisation as your spouse?
There’s nothing wrong in working in the same place. Yet, certainly not in the same department, or in roles that require professional interaction/ supervision involving each other. This isn’t about biases.
It’s more about comfort and professionalism and the ability to take independent decisions.
I have had couples working in the same office, but in different roles and there has never been any cause for concern or lack of effort on their parts. In fact in the entrepreneurial world, this is very common and is a much accepted practice too.
Retail sees this as well and so do other streams such as medicine, architecture, finance etc.
Several couples practise together, be it Doctors, Lawyers, Architects, CAs and almost all of them do very well too. Finally it’s about how professional you are at work. Nothing matters any more! As long as there is perfect understanding and egos are put to rest, great work will emanate for sure.
So, go ahead and work in the same office, my friend..Both of you will only be happier!
However a word of caution : Be sure to keep your flirting in check while the wife is around 🙂 Now, this is certainly advisable.
Sir, you wrote about appraisals. My boss who relented under pressure from HR to give me a good rating is now out to nail me for no fault of mine. Â Should I complain to HR?
Wow! HR intervened and told your boss to rate you well? This is a new one indeed ! This probably means your previous appraisals haven’t been fair or you have a highly
pro-active HR team!
Yeah no boss is going to like instructions being given to her/him on appraisals..but taking all this out on you isn’t something that is sensible or acceptable!
I guess it’s finally about mega egos and this will never change. I so wish people realise the folly of sitting on artificial pedestals and behaving like autocrats. They often forget that finally its only the chair that is commanding respect. And a chair can be taken away in a flash !
Personally, I would suggest you casually broach the topic with HR and simultaneously have a chat with your boss to tell him/her what you feel. It’s important he/ she knows that you have recognised the causticity of his behaviour with you.
There is a strong chance that he/ she may realise the mistake and back off, which is the ideal situation but if not, it may be sensible to escalate this! Please do understand that your performance and raison d’être in the company will play a major role when this is escalated. I have assumed for now that you are an important part of the enterprise and responded accordingly.
Is it cool for media firms to ban Facebook and LinkedIn. They are now platforms for people to communicate with each other. Your comments.
Thanks for writing in with a pertinent question! I completely agree with you on the importance of these social platforms in ones life, but this doesn’t necessarily amount to a passport for 24/7 use!
Organisations end up banning this because of its addictive properties. Social media is much like a mood elevator and tranquilliser rolled in one, and consequently highly addictive too! Yes, it gives you a high, but has its downside as well. Stay away from narcotics, be it the real thing or in the virtual form. Yes, the virtual can be embraced but it’s far too dangerous to take to bed…
Metered doses. Always the most effective. Proved beyond doubt!
And please don’t tell me that its required for networking and hence must be done at office. No, it isn’t and you can do it on the move, or when you have the spare time. No heavens will fall if you haven’t send a connection request in the past 24 hours or that important post hasn’t gone up yet….
Use social media but don’t let it take over your life. Get your priorities straight and follow them. Social media is here to stay and so is your timeline. Relax, there is time in the day for every task. Stop mixing oil and water! We haven’t forgotten our basic physics have we? Density and so on…
I rest my case. Amen.
Now, this is the part I don’t like!!
Goodbye, Au Revoir and so on! But what has to be said must be said (so said, JD!) and hence it’s time to bid adieu.
Do not despair my friends, for we will be back with Swiss precision on the 21st day of April.
Well, this is what we are made of! Being there.
And for those of you who may have a question, please inbox us on editor@mxmindia.com
and yes, don’t forget to mention Dear MxM and your city in the subject line.