MxMIndia

Category: HARD KNOCKS

Anil Thakraney’s view on adland, medialand and more

  • There cannot be a greater joy for a journalist than an expose well executed. It also makes the audiences take news channels more seriously. Am hoping this will be a turning point for news television in India

    Anil Thakraney: Need more Choppergate stories

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I think someone’s gotta do a viewership measurement study for the Choppergate coverage. No, not to suss which channel got the most eyeballs (I can already see Arnab babu claiming the championship), but to check exactly how many Indians actually watched the television coverage. This is because I am beginning to suspect India is tiring of scam stories, the janata may have reached a point of disinterest in corruption. And this is because there’s a financial scam happening every other day, and it’s now become an Indian way of life, much like spitting and pissing on the streets. Naturally, our politicians and babus would be mighty elated if indeed that is the case.

     

    Having (ruefully) said the above, the media still has to do its job, it still has to report the bloody scams. And what gladdened me is that almost all the TV channels went into the investigative mode on Choppergate. Reporters got flown to Milan (lucky guys!), anchors went deep into facts and figures, and there was a healthy competition to unearth more dirt than the rival channel. I particularly liked NDTV’s Vishnu Som’s work, who presented his bar charts as if he was talking to school students. While it was a bit funny, I liked the analytical passion he displayed. Now this is television I appreciate. Because this is asli journalism, as against the gasbag debates that happen each evening. When the same group of farts arrives, and farts about every possible thing under the sun. And it gets particularly noxious during TV dinners. It is these mindless debates that have driven many viewers away from desi TV news. That’s not journalism, that’s nautanki.

     

    Choppergate reminded us that the news channel folks do have the will and the skill to carry out investigative journalism when they deign to. And am hoping we get to watch more of it in the future. In any case, there cannot be a greater joy for a journalist than an expose well executed. It also makes the audiences take news channels more seriously. Am hoping this will be a turning point for news television in India, though I suspect I am wrong. For some reason, editors seem to enjoy all the prime time gassing. Sigh!

     

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    PS: Very good slice-of-life commercial. Brits in particular would identify with this. And surprisingly, it comes from McDonald’s, who aren’t renowned for great advertising work (though their ad for McSpicy, which I reviewed last week, isn’t bad). Wonderful story that culminates naturally with the brand.

     

     

  • There's an opportunity here for a new Hindi cinema award, whose biggest promise is credibility. Where the judging is totally transparent and the entire focus of the event is on cinema, good cinema, and nothing else. In short, all that the Oscars are to Hollywood

    Anil Thakraney: Want to launch an Oscar in India?

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Let me make it abundantly clear that I have nothing against the Filmfare awards, they are as worthy or as trashy as you deem the rest of the Bollywood awards to be (and there are plenty!). If you are a discerning cinema purist, you would be appalled by what goes on in the name of awards. However, if you are someone who enjoys dance, masti and street humour, and aren’t really a true cinema buff (in other words, a fan of crap called Dabangg and Rowdy Rathore), you would totally enjoy all these gigs.

     

    These were the thoughts swimming in my head as I watched the Filmfare awards show. The same old item numbers, the same old crass jokes by SRK and Saif (Balki & Bulky? You gotta be kidding me, guys!), and the same old thakela faces in the front row (Rekha, her ‘secy’ and Chunky Panday have become furniture items at these events). And as usual, a long, yawny, four-hour television extravaganza, which had nothing to do with cinema per se.

     

    And worse of all, the perpetual question mark that hangs like a sword on all Bollywood awards: What about credibility, dude? That still appears to be sorely missing. Case in point: Only the winners in the important categories land up at these events. And Shri Aamir Khan continues to shun these nautankis, because they lack the one most important thing for ANY award event: Trust. Sadly, nothing seems to be changing year after year, it’s always the same issues.

     

    Which then brings me to the point: Very, very clearly, there’s an opportunity out here for a media brand (or any corporate) to institute a new Hindi cinema award, whose biggest promise is credibility. Where the judging is made totally transparent (perhaps televised), and the entire focus of the event is on cinema, good cinema, and nothing else. In short, all that the Oscars are to Hollywood. If someone can pull this off, earn the film industry’s respect over a period of time, all other award shows will pale into insignificance, a couple might even be compelled to shut shop.

     

    I see an opportunity here. A gaping hole in the market waiting to be filled. Don’t you?

     

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    PS: Want to know how to make food advertising look sexy? Hottie Padma Lakshmi shows you how it’s done. Suddenly, all of us men want that damned burger. And suddenly, all of us men envy Salman Rushdie, and wonder why he let Padma go. Idiot! 🙂

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQDit9-z1Xw[/youtube]

     

  • Tony Fernandes of AirAsia inherited a bleeding airline in 2001, and turned it around within a year. This isn't a liquor baron who's decided to suddenly fly, Fernandes is a hardcore airline man

    Anil Thakraney: AirAsia: Will shake up Indian skies

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    AirAsia’s decision to fly into Indian skies is great news, both, for the newly formed venture that will run the desi operations, and for the Indian flyers. AirAsia is purely a low-cost carrier, that’s the market they understand, that’s their expertise. And the Indian market has been crying out for another low-cost airline so that the ticket pricing gets more realistic. So that train travellers can start taking air travel a little more seriously. For example, if last-minute travel from Mumbai to Bangalore costs me Rs 8,000, we certainly aren’t talking low cost out here. In any case, competition is always good, and with Kingfisher as good as dead, there is an opportunity for a new player.

     

    AirAsia has tied up with the Tatas, which is also good news. This means the Tata Group will return to the airline business after decades, after their exit from what is now called Air India. The group will want to ensure the project shines, their name is on the line. And Tony Fernandes of AirAsia is a kickass airline man. He inherited a bleeding airline in the year 2001, and turned it around within a year. This isn’t a liquor baron who’s decided to suddenly fly, Fernandes is a hardcore airline man. Which is why this team gives me huge hope. And you do need a power team like this to deal with all the problems that operating in India comes with, mainly high fuel costs and crazy taxes.

     

    I believe they will initially fly in the smaller cities and towns, but am guessing that strategy is to test the Indian waters (or skies, in this case), and am sure within a year AirAsia will connect the metro towns, that’s where the traffic lies. If I wish to fly Mumbai to Delhi, and have taken that decision three days earlier, and if the ticket price is about three thousand rupees, we have a sure winner here.

     

    Net net: A great team, perfect timing, correct product offering and a desperate need in the marketplace. This is one venture that can’t possibly go wrong. And sadly, Dr Mallya will have to grab a Kingfisher beer and watch AirAsia’s aircraft take to the skies. And ponder over what might have been. Alas!

     

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    PS: Meanwhile, here’s what’s happening with the Indian carriers. With too much free time on hand, and being stuck with ‘aunty’ air hostesses, Air India pilots are looking for fun elsewhere. This dude decided to write an obscene rap song and also star in it. Of course, the video’s gone viral, of course, the pilot’s in trouble, but who cares? We, the janata, are funding all this nonsense. One more reason why an AirAsia is badly needed here. We want pilots, not rappers. Anyway, it’s a fun video, enjoy!

     

  • A big salaam to Azim Premji. One thing's for sure: He must definitely sleep well at night, certainly better than a whole lot of other Indian industrialists. Sharing happiness can do that to one, others should try it out

    Anil Thakraney: Role Model Premji

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I have always harboured a major grouse about our tagda industrialists: Which is that our kanjoos sethjis abhor the idea of sharing money. Hoarding wealth seems to be a part of the great Indian culture, and that habit really stinks in a third world nation like India where millions of people crave for a roti, where many have no torn blanket to cover themselves with in bitter cold. Whatever little charity is done is actually naam ke vaaste effort, aimed at gaining quick brownie points on Page 3.

     

    Which is why I was shell shocked when I read the news about Azim Premji’s decision to transfer millions of Wipro’s equity shares, worth Rs. 12,300 crore (wow!), to a trust. A trust that will do philanthropy, focusing mainly on primary education. In fact, Premji has already donated a percentage of his personal stock in Wipro for social work. So the latest donation is over and above that! This is simply sensational news, because, as I said, richie rich Indian people don’t like sharing, in fact they don’t seem to even care what the have-nots think. A good example is that extremely distasteful monstrosity called Antilla in South Bombay. As someone said, that’s the owner’s way of showing the finger to India’s starving masses.

     

    Anyway, all we can do is puff up our chests with pride knowing that we have a Premji in our midst. And the rest of the tycoons can hang their heads in shame. Apparently the government is working on a proposal to slap higher taxes on the super rich. I am quite doubtful if this will ever happen, the super rich enjoy too much clout in the corridors of power, they will be able to quickly demolish such a plan. But am hoping it happens. If our bada seths aren’t going to loosen their purse strings for charity work, then we have to find a way to force them to do it. It’s only fair.

     

    So, a big salaam to Azim Premji. One thing’s for sure: He must definitely sleep well at night, certainly better than a whole lot of other Indian industrialists. Sharing happiness can do that to one, others should try it out.

     

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    PS: Ah! A kindly clock that gives us second chances, and freezes important moments in our lives. What would we not give to get our hands on such a marvel? I would freeze the moment when Shri Advani started out his Rath Yatra, and took the nation down the tube. I won’t allow the Rath to move an inch. Cool ad from Guinness. And wonderfully shot too.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAaNbzydxiA[/youtube]

     

     

     

  • I have been faithfully watching the Oscars for donkey's years, and I have to say this: This year's event was most definitely the worst show put up by the Academy Awards organizers

    Anil Thakraney: Oscar Disaster

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    First, let me vent my frustration with Star Movies. Their Oscar capsule, which was telecast from 8pm on Monday, ran for five long hours. The over-the-top Filmfare guys haven’t sunk this low. And that was mainly because of the zillion ad breaks. Now, I know the channel would want to maximize revenues on a blue chip show, and yet, surely there has to be a healthy balance between content and commerce. Surely there’s no gain in pissing people off. There has been talk of limiting advertising time on television programming, Star Movies has made me hope that becomes a reality.

     

    Having got that off my chest, let’s discuss the show itself. I have been faithfully watching the Oscars for donkey’s years, and I have to say this: This year’s event was most definitely the worst show put up by the Academy Awards organizers. It was intolerably dreary, very, very wannabe, they tried too hard to please, and ended up with a mighty egg on the face.

     

    Host Seth McFarlane’s ‘jokes’ (who the hell is this dude? Did they pick him up from an NYC street theatre group?) were sick and desperate. It was almost like he was begging, pleading with us to laugh. What I badly wanted was to swat his silly face. Hope never to meet this guy ever again on television.

     

    Most of the live performances were insipid (aside from Adele, who’s always good). I have often dissed item numbers at desi award fests, but after watching the Oscar sham, I am having second thoughts. Perhaps they should have invited Angelina Jolie to shake with ‘Sheila Ki Jawaani’. Yes, it was THAT boring.

     

    Lastly, and this isn’t the organisers’ fault… it’s in keeping with their poor run this year… even the award acceptance speeches were utterly disgusting. Only Daniel Day Lewis was witty, all others should have said ‘thanks’, and then vamoosed.

     

    Here’s the key problem, as I see it: The Oscar suits are trying too hard to connect with the younger audiences, and that’s why all those sick sexist jokes and the ‘We Saw Your Boobs’ sort of trash. This is exactly like the 58 year old Chairman of a large company, an otherwise prim and propah gentleman, arriving at an office party dressed in Bermuda shorts and floral shirt. So that younger colleagues can treat him as a friend, as one of them. Doesn’t work Sirji, it never has! Stay serious, dear Mr Oscar, keep the suit on. We like you thataways.

     

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    PS: Haha. Very, very cute ad for Volkswagen Jetta, I love the idea. Which is that when you are facing death, your entire life flashes by you. Except that in this case the protagonist is a newly born baby, and this makes the TVC hilarious.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcF5Y7WIRVM[/youtube]

     

     

  • Here's my vishesh tippani on some of Chiduji's outstanding proposals, all based on street logic. Which is actually the best way to analyze a budget

    Anil Thakraney: Budget: The Hard Ground Realities

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I am no Nani Palkhivala. Therefore, if you are looking for insights on fiscal deficit and other such financial jargon, you are at the wrong place. Regardless, here’s my vishesh tippani on some of Chiduji’s outstanding proposals, all based on street logic. Which is actually the best way to analyze a budget.

     

    10 percent super tax on the super rich: Good. As I said in an earlier post, if our bada seths won’t be generous voluntarily, they have to be compelled. The sad reality, of course, is that this will be a super tax on the super rich on their ‘white’ income. So you can well imagine what the fat cats’ POA will be to counter this new menace.

     

    Cigarettes will cost more. Wow, that’s a new one! How imaginative, Chiduji! I think time has come to thank our smoker pals. Year after year they help to narrow India’s fiscal deficit. And we keep kicking them out of public places. Unfair!

     

    India’s first All-Women Bank: Well, I can already see the bank robbers smiling. Jokes apart, this is not what India’s aam aurat needs. What she needs is things like public toilets, especially ladies from the lower strata.

     

    Nirbhaya Fund of Rs 1000 crore for women’s safety: Firstly, it’s injustice to the dead girl that this is not being drafted in her own name, but in a pseudonym coined by a newspaper sub. Secondly, I don’t know if the fund will go into keeping our women safe, but it does sound like a lottery win for some netas and babus. Both, male and female.

     

    TDS of 1 percent on property sales exceeding Rs 50 lakh: This will take us right back to the ‘B&W’ era. Even high end apartments will go for 49.5 lakh rupees.

     

    Service tax in air-conditioned restaurants: You are all welcome home. And please invite me too.

     

    My dream of owning an SUV now looks more unreal than ever. Nano, here I come!

     

    One last thing: My maid was swabbing the floor when Chiduji was busy delivering his address to the nation. She asked how the budget will change her life. I said she’ll now have her own bank, so no need to mingle with us lecherous men. Her swift response (which I have politely translated from her Marathi): “But where’s the money to deposit, sahib? I am okay with lecherous men, give me some money instead. That’s more important.”

     

    Good luck to the UPA for the 2014 elections.

     

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    PS: While on the subject of budgets, I have just one thing to say on the railway one: The mantri forgot an easy revenue source. He should find a way to penalize passengers who litter the compartments and dirty the loos. This will result in many of us ditching air travel and returning to the trains. Make no mistake about this: Railway is the most beautiful way to travel in this country. Unless you own an SUV, which, thanks to Chiduji, is now way out of my league.

     

  • These duels have to be fought on the marketing battlefield, not in courtrooms. That’s where the real action is

    Anil Thakraney: The Dettol/Vim slugfest

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    So, the Vim (Lever) guys have taken the Dettol (Reckitt) guys to court over the dishwasher ad. This sounds like a lot of fun waiting to happen. Because comparative advertising is always entertaining, as we viewers sit back and watch two marketing giants slug it out.

     

    Hit this link for the full story: http://www.mxmindia.com/2013/02/bang-bang-fmcg-majors-slug-it-out-via-ads/

     

    However, I have always believed that involving the courts to sort out ad disputes is a waste of time, energy and money. For two reasons: One, by the time the court order to pull the ‘offending’ ad arrives, the damage is already done. And even after the court order, a canny marketer will find an innovative way to keep the onslaught going.

     

    In this particular case, I know where Dettol is coming from; even though it’s an old, established brand, their dishwasher is a new product, and they had to do desperate things to grab some of the leader’s (Vim’s) market share. Which explains the full and frontal attack. And it makes enormous strategic sense. Vim has always promised tough action on grease (the ‘visible’ problem). Dettol has played to its core strength, they say it will kill the germs (the ‘invisible’ problem). So it’s a strategic move that makers of Vim should have seen coming, they ought not to be surprised. Dettol’s USP across its product range has been the antiseptic value, so they were going to play that card with the dishwasher too. And methinks it’s going to work, nothing better to get the worried mama’s attention than to speak bacteria with her.

     

    So what should Vim do? Well, they have retaliated, but their reactionary ad, while on the right track, is a tad weak. The ad says that an antiseptic is harsh, and that Vim clears germs too, but that’s not powerful enough. That’s like a rap on the knuckles of a person who’s just punched you in the face. I think Vim should launch an all-out counter attack, and hit Dettol where it hurts. They should create hard-hitting ads on how, for example, the residue left behind by an antiseptic agent can be detrimental to the family’s health. In fact, they should create a huge scare around it. That would put their opponent on the back foot.

     

    Net net: These duels have to be fought on the marketing battlefield, not in courtrooms. That’s where the real action is.

     

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    PS: How dare they mock the vegans! I am a ghaas phoos khaanewala, and I take serious offence to this Taco Bell ad. Thanks to the pressure exerted by people like me on the social media, they were compelled to pull this commercial. Good riddance, I say! 🙂

     

    Link: http://video.ca.msn.com/watch/video/taco-bells-banned-commercial-offends-vegetarians/2jqa6o5h?cpkey=377f705b-f017-5f96-25ec-65077f4c813b%257c%257c%257c%257c

     

  • Why doesn’t a smart TV news channel offer Justice Katju his very own daily show? For half an hour every evening, our all-round expert vents on national television, gifting us with his gems for the day in his inimitable style

    Anil Thakraney: Wanted: Justice Katju Unplugged!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I like Justice Markandey Katju. Not necessarily as the chief of the Press Council, but as an ever-green television personality. He is like a breath of fresh air on the news channels that otherwise saddle us viewers with the same bunch of bores and jokers. Katju won my heart when he famously declared that 90 percent of Indians are fools. Though I would have loved him even more if he had pegged that figure at 99 percent. That would be a more accurate description.

     

    That apart, Justice Katju is a highly entertaining man. He speaks his mind ferociously, doesn’t shy away from television pow-wows, and revels in controversial situations. Although the man denies he makes such sensational remarks to court controversies, I am quite certain Katju enjoys being on prime time. It’s perhaps an unfulfilled desire being satisfied. This explains why he frequently provokes powerful people/groups, and gets into television skirmishes. His more recent targets of ire were BJP’s Arun Jaitley and Narendra Modi. Previously, he’s taken on the media, movie stars, cricketers, Mamata Banerji, Pakistan… the list is long. Shri Katju has an opinion on everything under the sun and the moon, and his kickass views are always captivating. When he’s not invited to the TV studios, our man lets off steam on his Twitter page.

     

    And this gave me an idea: Why doesn’t a smart TV news channel offer Justice Katju his very own daily show? A ‘Justice Katju Unplugged’ sort of a thingy. For half an hour every evening, our all-round expert vents on national television, gifting us with his gems for the day in his inimitable style. That Katju is totally entertaining we already know, but having served as a judge, he carries enormous credibility (which is why Suhel Seth and Shobhaa De, who too have an opinion on everything, don’t qualify). I think the show will score heavy on the TRP charts. And it will be a welcome break from the same dull bores we watch on television debates every evening.

     

    So here’s hoping one of our TV honchos makes this offer. I am quite positive Justice Katju will lap it up. Even though the first target of his vitriolic attack could be that very channel, you can never rule anything out with His Honour. See, that’s why the man is such a hit.  🙂

     

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    PS: Haha. Any ad person will tell you these posters are an agency creative’s nightmare. A couple of Irish designers have turned the worst comments from clients into hilarious posters. They are funny, provided you read them after a few large pegs.

     

    Link: http://www.demilked.com/sharp-suits-posters/

     

  • While one is all for feminism, I am allergic to militant feminists, the sort who are convinced that every single male walking the earth is a bloody misogynist, and the creep deserves to be immediately annihilated. Obviously this kind of thinking is counterproductive

    Anil Thakraney: Be a cool feminist

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    While one is all for feminism, I am allergic to militant feminists, the sort who are convinced that every single male walking the earth is a bloody misogynist, and the creep deserves to be immediately annihilated. Obviously this kind of thinking is counterproductive. And what worries me is this, and I state this from firsthand experience, having spent a number of years in the world of media and advertising: More and more young women seem to be growing into the militant mould in the world of communication.

     

    How did this come to happen? Well, if the mother hen, so to speak, is virulently anti-male, the chicks, so to speak, who work under her, are sure to emulate the example. And this leads to the mushrooming of hard-edged feminists in media companies and advertising agencies. Let me tell you this very candidly: There’s nothing more off-putting and repulsive than a woman who’s convinced of male inferiority, and whose mission in life is to go one up on us men.

     

    On this Women’s Day, here’s a thought for my fairer friends: The reason women make for better team leaders is because of the feminine values they bring to the table, apart from the obvious gender-neutral leadership skills. She can be tough and compassionate at the same time. She can be extremely focused yet sensitive to her people’s needs. She brings in a great deal of commitment to the job, and yet gives poor performers in her team a long rope. This makes for a deadly combination of professionalism and humanity, and this is why I strongly believe the CEO ratio, which is currently skewed in the favour of men, will swing the other way in the coming decades. Yes, women make for better leaders, that I am entirely sure about.

     

    However, the militant sort fritter away their natural advantages by trying to constantly score over men, by being intolerant of any criticism of feminism, and by being dogmatic in their set beliefs. And ironically, when they do this, they make the same mistakes we men have been making for centuries. In fact, they become exactly like us men!

     

    As the Indian corporate world stands on the cusp of change, I urge my beautiful colleagues to be proud feminists. But to not lose their innate feminism in the process. That would go directly against what they are trying to achieve. Be strong. Be sexy. Be cool. Be kind. And we cave men will love and respect you even more.

     

    Happy Women’s Day!

     

     

  • The man's sudden disappearance into thin air presented an opportunity for the media to conduct a large-scale, nation-wide investigative story. This was not done for seven long years. So why all the chest-thumping now?

    Anil Thakraney: Little Bitti Madness

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I was travelling all of last week, and therefore I caught up with news television in small doses. And the comedy circus I saw over convicted Odisha rapist Bitti Mohanty’s arrest left me guffawing. Times Now was busy trying to grab credit for the arrest, as were, I suspect, a few other channels. Perhaps that’s the reason I spotted a faint smile on the rapist’s face, I can think of no other reason for this, the chap faces a hard time in prison.

     

    Two messages I want to send to editors of news channels. One, the media had absolutely no role to play in young Mohanty’s capture. From what I could gather, the Kerala police received a tip-off from an unknown source, they investigated and found the absconder. So then why were some channels gloating? It completely beats me. If you have been raising the issue of the rapist’s disappearance on your silly chat shows, and if that had put pressure on the security agencies across the nation to launch a desperate manhunt, then perhaps you have some reason to gloat. How can you take credit over a chance capture? It’s beyond belief.

     

    In fact, I would say the man’s sudden disappearance into thin air presented an opportunity for the media to conduct a large-scale, nation-wide investigative story. This was not done for seven long years. All that the channels did was indulge in a lazy rant, so why all the chest-thumping now? Is Times Now expecting a Pulitzer for this ‘grand success’? All I can do is snigger away.

     

    The other thing I wish to say to the editors is this: Even if you DID conduct a huge investigative campaign which led to the discovery of the vanished man, it’s extremely distasteful to gloat on air. Shows you in a very poor light. Confident people and brands don’t pat their own backs, they wait/hope for others to do it for them. Hope my colleagues in the television media remember this truth when they actually contribute in a crime expose. In Mohanty’s case, they were caught napping. Gloating over this one is a ROFL moment for their viewers.

     

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    PS: A good example of how to make technology get out of its cold environs, and come alive with fun and games. At least in the advertising. Dell says you have to create an alternate universe. I say you need fertile imagination. After all, what is high tech minus imagination? Must-watch for creatives who get bogged down by briefs on hardware and software products/services.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBETjUv0iXk[/youtube]

     

     

     

  • Conspiracies make for juicy gossip sessions. No one is willing to even accept the possibility that Singh may have simply killed himself in the dead of the night

    Anil Thakraney: The Ram Singh conspiracies

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    And so, as you would expect, the media (mass and social) is buzzing with conspiracy theories over rapist-cum-killer Ram Singh’s death. Every single bizarre theory is being propounded, but no one is willing to wait for the inquiry committee to do its job. Why? Well, because conspiracies make for juicy gossip sessions. No one, not even the Tweeters, is willing to even accept the possibility that Singh may have simply killed himself in the dead of the night.

     

    Think about this: The whole world is baying for your blood, you have been identified by the key witness, there’s no chance in hell of getting out of this mess. Every other day you are being forced to eat shit, or being sodomised by fellow inmates. And the jail staffers aren’t really keen on stopping the torture, they are, in fact, delighted at the free entertainment. Also, if it took them four long years to get rid of a hardcore terrorist like Kasab, you may have to live in this hell-hole for a much longer time. So what’s the best option? Get the bloody f*&k out. I or you would do the same thing in these circumstances; we would find crazy methods to eliminate ourselves. I can imagine Singh convincing himself every other day with this compelling logic: Katle bhaiyya, isi mein samajhdaari hai.

     

    In other words, it’s entirely possible the undertrial invented an ingenuous method to commit suicide. Therefore instead of indulging in wild conspiracy theories, the media should spend all its time and energy in questioning the Tihar officials for their gross negligence. Here was a man dying to kill himself, they ought to have known.

     

    One other thing: Once again the so-called human rights activists are out of the woodwork. All vociferously defending the rights of the scumbag called Ram Singh. It’s funny how these guys always rise for the rights of criminals, but never for the victims and their families. If you suffer from a low blood pressure problem, watch these folks in action. You’ll heal without any medical help.

     

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    PS: Spotted Arvind Kejriwal smiling at me from the back of a Delhi auto rickshaw. Poor man, guess he needs to find low cost avenues to fund his party’s promotions. Kejriwal certainly won’t be able to afford a full page ad in the TOI. Anyway, do hope the ‘aam aadmi leader’, while buying space from the rick drivers, convinces them to stop denying their aam aadmi passengers. After all, it is these dolts who, with their refusal to ply, triggered the horrific Delhi gang rape and murder.

     

     

     

  • Excellent work, and it must have taken Cobrapost months (and a lot of leg work) to execute this story. Full marks to the team. We need more stories like this

    Anil Thakraney: Dirty laundry: Cobra’s shocking expose

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I was not very impressed with Aniruddha Bahal’s literary efforts, but am a huge fan of his stinging journalistic skills. Along with Tarun Tejpal (Tehelka), and now at his own venture (Cobrapost), Bahal has planned and executed some fantastic exposes. The most memorable being the one on match-fixing in cricket, and the other one on Indian parliamentarians accepting cash to ask questions. Both shook the nation.

     

    Cobrapost’s latest sting operation is equally shocking and depressing. Even as the government finds new ways to burden the aam aadmi with more taxes, it appears the rich have been happily legalizing their ill-gotten wealth, not by flying to Switzerland, but by paying a visit to the friendly neighbourhood desi bank. Cobrapost’s investigation reveals how, across the length and breadth of the country, well-known banks like HDFC, ICICI and Axis, coolly and helpfully help you launder your dirty money.

     

    What’s totally staggering about the story is this: The laundering process operates as a very well oiled machine, with staffers down the line aware of its existence, some even adept at handling it. This means the racket has been going on for a long time. And two, the innovative options these banks provide to wash your funds. These include offering insurance policies for cash, opening benami accounts, using accounts of their other customers to channelize the monies, offering lockers for safe keep, and so on. It’s in fact, well, a laundry list! Every single method totally illegal, and in brazen contravention of the RBI guidelines.

     

    Excellent work, and it must have taken Cobrapost months (and a lot of leg work) to execute this story. Full marks to the team. We need more stories like this because money laundering directly hits the financial health of the nation. Of course, the key question is: Will anything come out of this story? Perhaps not. Obviously many netas have been washing their dirty linen at these laundries, so you can well imagine the outcome. But, a journalist must do his/her job, and that’s what the Cobrapost team has done.

     

    I must add here that two years ago I had a very nasty experience with my bank. Not only were they mishandling my account, they were always rude, and were very thrilled to see me go. I was surprised at the time, but it all seems to add up now. Why bother about genuine customers when the real moolah lies with the fake ones?

     

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    PS: Haha. Brilliant commercial by Volkswagen Beetle. Simple and highly entertaining. The power of lateral thinking at work.