MxMIndia

Category: HARD KNOCKS

Anil Thakraney’s view on adland, medialand and more

  • It's now a given; the moment a cricketer retires, by default he walks into the commentary box. The latest entrant, VVS Laxman, is painful to hear. He speaks poorly, provides zero insights, and has a voice that makes a sixer sound like a boring thingy

    Anil Thakraney: VVS: Very Very Sad

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    It’s now a given; the moment a cricketer retires, by default he walks into the commentary box. When, ideally, his first priority ought to be coaching young teams and/or joining/starting a sports academy. This is because commentating is far more lucrative, and it carries zero responsibilities and headaches. I am quite certain Rajya Sabha MP Shri Sachin Tendulkar has already begun work on his diction.

     

    But this instant migration from the pitch to the box isn’t easy, and most of the cricketers struggle very badly, at the cost of the viewers. The latest entrant, VVS Laxman, is painful to hear. He speaks poorly, provides zero insights, and has a voice that makes a sixer sound like a boring thingy. Laxman Sivaramakrishnan has been tormenting us with his clichés for years, and the less said about motor mouth Sidhu the better. Sanjay Manjrekar communicates like a novice, and Ravi Shastri has been hired purely to generate senseless hysteria. Sunil Gavaskar and Saurav Ganguly are the notable exceptions, the saving grace. I am also reminded of Lala Amarnath from back in the seventies. He used to come up with sharp observations; we would, as kids, eagerly await his gems at the end of each match day.

     

    And of course, Imran Khan, the late Tony Grieg, Richie Benaud and Ian Chappell have always been a delight to listen to. What this tells you is that having been a cricketer may help to commentate better, but it does not necessarily make you an interesting communicator. Either you have the gift of the gab or you don’t. Therefore, the sports networks have to exercise quality control, they simply can’t hire every cricketer who calls it a day. And I haven’t even begun speaking about the nonsense that goes on inside the Hindi commentary box. These days I mostly watch the Indian cricket telecast minus the sound.

     

    Just as a good movie director won’t necessarily make a good film critic, just as a great painter won’t necessarily become a reliable curator, just as a kickass CEO won’t necessarily be a good dad, the same theory applies to sports commentary. I am quite certain there is enough talent out there for cricket commentary (after all, this nation is flushed with ‘experts’), and all that the television networks have to do is to find them. It’s their laziness to conduct this search that has ended up saddling us viewers with rank bad commentators.

     

    Get some fresh blood in the box, dear Sony Max, ESPN/Star Sports, Neo, etc. In fact, the IPL is a good place to start, unless you’ve already signed up Sidhu, VVS and Sivaramakrishnan. In which case it’s now left to the sexy cheerleaders to save the day.

     

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    PS: Nice IKEA commercial. Notice how the inter-play of need for storage room and need for room in relationships lifts an otherwise ordinary promise: Total furniture solutions. Wonderful!

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWJImv6ci9I[/youtube]

     

  • I have a bad feeling Justice Katju thinks of Indian journalists exactly what he thinks of the rest of India; perhaps he believes that 90 percent of us are fools, and that might be the reason for the latest diktat

    Anil Thakraney: Katju Sir, how do you teach curiosity?

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Haha. Press Council Chairman Justice Shri Markandey Katju has bowled another deadly googly. He now demands that journalists must have certain qualifications before they are hired, and he wants that to be mandated by law. Here’s the link to the story in mxm india: http://www.mxmindia.com/2013/03/mxm-mondays-do-journalists-need-to-be-qualified/

     

    I have a bad feeling Justice Katju thinks of Indian journalists exactly what he thinks of the rest of India; perhaps he believes that 90 percent of us are fools, and that might be the reason for the latest diktat. Be that as it may, one question immediately comes to mind: What sort of a qualification would Justice Katju deem as being appropriate for journalists? Is he happy with the Diploma in Mass Communications sort of a thing? Or does he have something else in mind? Doctorate in social sciences? Master’s degree in law? PhD in qualitative research? Graduate degree in English Literature? Would be interesting to know what would satisfy the boss.

     

    Incidentally, does Justice Katju know that Carl Bernstein, the celebrated American journalist who broke the sensational Watergate scandal, wasn’t even a graduate, that he dropped out of college at the age of 16 to be a journalist? There are plenty of such shining examples. This is not to say the media should hire only school and college drop-outs. Every degree brings value to an individual’s skills, that’s common sense stuff, so there’s no point arguing with that. And it works for all walks of life. But I am not really sure where Justice Katju is going with this, where is he going to draw the line in terms of mandatory education levels.

     

    However, I have a larger point to make: My own experience in journalism has taught me that aside from obvious skills like writing, articulation, research-gathering, etc, the Number One talent every journalist must possess is Curiosity, with a capital C. Minus that, a journalist is pretty much useless. And this is true whether he/she works for a mass TV channel or a niche industry portal. All the degrees collected by the individual are junk if he/she isn’t inquisitive by nature.

     

    So then, dear Justice Katju, how do you teach someone to be a nosy parker? That single most important journalistic attribute. I would really like to know, I am curious! 🙂

     

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    PS: Good TV campaign by END7, an international NGO. The ads show how celebs react when faced with a ghastly tropical disease. Apart from other big names, it features our very own Ms Priyanka Chopra. Ready to squirm? Er, at the disease, not her acting skills.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYimJKg9QiE[/youtube]

     

     

     

  • The star must take the Supreme Court verdict on the chin, and prepare himself for some jail time

    Anil Thakraney: The Sanjay Dutt road show

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I know it sounds a bit harsh to say this, but I am glad the Sanjay Dutt crime saga has come to an end. It has been going on for twenty long years, and frankly, it’s gotten really boring now. The star must take the Supreme Court verdict on the chin, and prepare himself for some jail time. Crime was committed (it’s irrelevant whether Dutt was involved innocently or otherwise), and therefore there must be punishment. And who knows, he could be let off much sooner than three and a half years on account of ‘good behaviour’, and there’s always his sweet MP sister around to keep the Dutt family flag flying.

     

    As for the hectic media coverage yesterday, the same, established template came into operation: TV reporters dutifully parked themselves outside the star’s Pali Hill residence, all busy speculating, as the man wouldn’t speak to them. Some Hindi channels gladly fished out eerie footage of the 1993 blasts. Any legal mind who was willing to speak was chased for a sound byte. Entertainment journos were consulted on the likely losses to Bollywood. And of course, movie people queued up to express their intense grief. These days these bleeding hearts vent on Twitter as well, which is the only real change that’s happened in twenty years. I write this post in the evening, and am sure the 9PM TV debates will also work on the same template. The usual bunch of TV suspects will be called to shower us with pearls of wisdom. It’s the Sanjay Dutt script we are all so familiar with.

     

    And to be fair, one really can’t blame the TV channels. What else can you do but follow the set diagram? Nothing has changed in terms of the facts of the case, so you can’t possibly invent a new angle, even if you tried. Am quite certain that secretly, all the journalists must be happy this is finally done and dusted, regurgitating the same stuff over and over again can get very tedious.

     

    Before I sign off, I must state for the record that I have spent some time with Sanjay Dutt, and I can tell you he has a good heart. But that’s of no consequence when it comes to law and order. All his fans must accept this and move on.

     

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    PS: Incidentally, here’s the column I wrote for Mumbai Mirror when Dutt was convicted by the TADA court, back in the year 2007. Six years later, I have EXACTLY the same things to say to the convicted star. Yes, I am part of the same media template, this story’s gone on for so damn long!

     

    Link: http://www.mumbaimirror.com/article/53/200708010308471561291c80b/Kudos-to-Kode.html?pageno=14

     

  • Had the media not raised a hue and cry, these murderers were lost to us forever, there's no way the government would have negotiated furiously with their Italian counterparts to find a way to get these doods back. A pat on the back is in order, and am hoping it comes from the usually sleepy PM

    Anil Thakraney | Credit for return of marines must go to media

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Some observations on the two big stories of last week. One, as the government (and strangely the opposition party!) takes credit for the return of the killer Italian marines, no one should forget the role played by the Indian media. In fact, in my books, this is the media’s victory, another feather in the cap. Had the media not raised a hue and cry, these murderers were lost to us forever, there’s no way the government would have negotiated furiously with their Italian counterparts to find a way to get these doods back. A pat on the back is in order, and am hoping it comes from the usually sleepy PM. A side-note on this issue: The marines will live a life of luxury inside their embassy, right till the trial is over. After conviction, which will quite obviously result in a jail term for a few years, they’ll fly to Italy to serve the sentence out there. Wow, how very cool! Wonder who’s having the last laugh in this tragic tale.

     

    Two, despite the boredom I expressed with the Sanjay Dutt saga (read my Friday post), the caravan is chugging along merrily. Bollywood’s PR machinery, now that the frat has discovered the ‘pardon’ option, is in overdrive. They are determined to see that baba never goes to jail again. Of course, these filmi types wouldn’t care for the long term impact of this on the nation’s collective psyche, that’s not their problem. But Justice Katju leaping to the rescue of the criminal star is nothing less than shocking. The retired judge, in his infinite wisdom, forgot that influential people such as himself must stand up for the weak and the deprived. Not for those who are already rich and already well connected. Not sure if Katju realizes this, but his emergence as a huge fan of Sanju baba has dealt a body blow to his own credibility.

     

    One other thing: I saw Katju speak very rudely with NDTV’s Nidhi Razdan and CNN IBN’s Bhupendra Chaubey, when the TV anchors were grilling him over the Dutt pardon issue. Both the journos maintained their composure in the face of what was nothing short of live television humiliation. In fact, Katju even questioned Razdan’s anchoring abilities! To be honest, my blood was on the boil just watching all this go on, full marks to these guys for taking it all so calmly. I do hope to meet Justice Katju someday. Up close.

     

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    PS: Must say I am disappointed with the ‘new’ Anandi in Balika Vadhu (Colors). It’s my favourite daily serial, and the producers usually get the casting bang-on. In all these years this must be the first time they’ve got it wrong. The new maiden lacks distinctive character on her face, as also the gravitas required for this particular role. She’s just another pleasant TV face, the sort we encounter in every single soap. Sad.

  • JWT must consider itself fortunate if Ford decides to continue with the partnership, writes Anil Thakraney

    #Scamadgate: Anil Thakraney: Pawar had to go

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Bobby Pawar must be sorely regretting he’s not a politician. Had he been one, JWT’s creative chief could have said the Ford scam ads are a conspiracy to malign his image, haha. Well, this isn’t Indian rajneeti, and therefore he got the boot. Must say Pawar’s conduct saddens me. As the big leader of the agency, he ought to have immediately taken direct responsibility for the offending ads, and resigned. Even if this crappy work was done by some young, desperate creatives, even if he wasn’t aware of the existence of these ads. Had he done so, Pawar might have walked away into the sunset with some degree of dignity still intact.

     

    Instead, the senior agency leaders’ first reaction was to wash their hands off the mess. Such leaders have to be sacked, no two ways on that. Especially so in the ad world, because scammy, unauthorized ads such as these directly affect the client’s image. It’s only within the global ad frat that the names of WPP and JWT crop up. To the rest of the world, Ford is the offender. Naturally therefore, some blood needed to spill.

     

    Speaking on a larger note, it’s shameful that after all these years of heated discussions on the subject, agency creatives continue to indulge in scam ads to win awards. Hopefully, Pawar’s sacking will result in some change. For one, national creative directors need to start worrying about the kind of culture and values they inculcate within their organizations. If the entire focus is on easy awards, scams will continue to happen, they are inevitable. If youngsters are evaluated mainly on the quantum of awards won, they will be tempted to cheat.

     

    Secondly, it’s high time systems and processes are initiated whereby juniors cannot upload any work that hasn’t been okayed by very senior creative directors. There was a time when young creatives would beg and plead with their media department to get a scam ad released in a lowly newspaper. Now, they just have to tweet it, and it’s out there for the world to see. All the more reason urgent attention needs to be paid to the operating processes, particularly so in large and medium sized ad agencies. One measure I can suggest right away is this: Every single employee needs to sign a declaration that he/she shall not publish anything official on the net without sanction from the national creative director. If they break this rule, they shall get instantly sacked, regardless of the material uploaded.

     

    Lastly, JWT must consider itself fortunate if Ford decides to continue with the partnership. Very fortunate, to be precise.

     

  • MxMIndia Editor-at-Large Anil Thakraney analyses the issues thrown up by the JWT-Ford scam ad controversy, and puts things in perspective

    #Scamadgate | Anil Thakraney: Let’s face the facts

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    For many creative people, it’s not been a long weekend to celebrate. I noticed there was high action on social media, as folks got busy venting over Bobby Pawar’s unfortunate sacking. While on one level I am delighted to witness this ‘standing up for a colleague’ campaign, must say that in all the furious excitement, people seem to have overlooked some key considerations. Also, I could not help but notice a similarity between the outcry and another campaign that’s underway simultaneously: And that’s ‘Pardon for Sanjay Dutt’. In one case, Bollywood has launched a massive PR drive to save their ‘hero’. And in the other one, ad land is seeking justice for their own fallen star. Both campaigns have one thing in common: Lost in emotion, we aren’t able to view the situations objectively.

     

    So allow me to deal with the main arguments put out by the creative people:

    It’s not a scam, the posters were approved by the client: This is technically correct. If a Ford executive endorsed the ads, they become official work. And the news is that Ford has sacked the concerned employee. This seems fair. However, that still doesn’t change the fact that these ads were created purely for winning awards, that they were never intended for media usage, and therefore they still fall in the ‘scams’ category. In my previous post, I have already discussed the issue of scam ads, and on what needs to be done thereof. Scam ads are rampant in the ad world, several guys and gals do it. But the JWT gang got caught with their hands in a very messy scam, and therefore there had to be retribution.

     

    Bobby Pawar is the convenient ‘fall guy’: Ermm, not really. When work produced by an ad agency brings global disrepute to a client (as has happened in this case), the buck must stop at the desk of the creative chief. The captain has to take full responsibility of his ship, that’s the right way to go about professional life. Sacking only the crazed, award-hungry youngsters is a cop-out, that would send the wrong signals. Also, now that it’s clear that Ford had indeed endorsed this work, it’s no longer a case of some stupid kids jerking off in the back office. JWT’s responsibility becomes total and absolute. And the leader of the pack becomes directly accountable.

     

    But shouldn’t Colvyn Harris have been punished too?: Supporters of this line of argument believe thus: Why must only creative people suffer when advertising is supposed to be team work. And that surely there were servicing people involved in this campaign. Also, as the big JWT India boss, Harris should have been the one to pay. Indeed there is merit in this argument, and am hoping that the client services director who approved this work has been sacked too. However, I am against the idea of penalizing the agency CEO. For the simple reason that Harris would (assumedly) leave the charge of all creative work to his NCD, that’s the professional thing to do. That’s why you hire a national creative director at a very high cost, so that he/she controls the agency’s output. Therefore, logically, that’s where the buck must stop. Let me give you a parallel: If a newspaper runs a false, misleading, illegal story, it’s the editor who will get axed, and not the publisher. Even though bringing out a newspaper is teamwork.

     

    The agency should have stood up for its creative people: I entirely agree with this point of view. If you are expecting your creatives to raise the bar, be prepared to back their edgy work. If you are reluctant to do so, stick to hiring only the safe players. So far, so good. However, in Ford Figo’s case, the creatives didn’t raise the bar, they lowered it to a new low (refer to the para below). And this resulted in a very angry large multinational client, a client that the agency had to assuage, or risk losing forever. Some senior blood had to spill, and Sir Martin Sorrell himself would have been left not very amused if it hadn’t. So before you trash Colvyn Harris (and I carry no candle for him), you must also view this issue from his angle; perhaps the CEO had no choice. I am quite certain if this work had happened for a local, small-time mosquito coils maker, Bobby Pawar would still be inside his cabin. These are harsh realities of the global world, and we have to accept them.

     

    These ads are tongue-in-cheek, we’ve lost the ability to laugh: I must tell you I am always first in queue to back work that challenges the acceptable boundaries. All along in my career, both in media and advertising, I have landed in trouble for believing and indulging in this principle. I am also always ready for a good laugh; safe and boring work pisses me off, my ad reviews will tell you that. But to create a campaign where women are projected as ‘mobile commodity’ is being totally insensitive to the gruesome rapes that keep happening every other day in India, often inside moving vehicles, AND THAT IS NOT FUNNY. If you find these ads hilarious, you need to get your head examined and your values sorted. This nation is deeply misogynistic, and women have been paying a heavy price on account of this sick mindset for a very long time. So please get this right: If you can’t be a part of the solution, for god’s sake don’t be a part of the problem.

     

    Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are personal. Follow him at @anilthakraney.

     

  • The IPL is huge, it's very successful, and it's here to stay. Everyone loves it. Uncles, aunties, bhabhies, nephews, nieces, saases, bahus, and the family dog

    Anil Thakraney: I concede defeat to IPL

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I have been secretly wishing for the last five years that by some miracle, the IPL vanishes from the scene. Instead, it’s been going from strength to strength. My big allergy to this pyjama form of cricket is that it’s everything but cricket. As a so-called purist, I detest what this tamasha has done to the game itself, and these issues have been debated before.

     

    That aside, I have two other grouses with the IPL. One, the laundry list of controversies. The list is so large, one could write a book titled ‘IPL & Scandals’, and it will be an international bestseller. I recall interviewing the IPL CEO Sundar Raman (for GQ) a couple of years ago, and the question listing the controversies was ten times larger than his response, I had to edit the question to maintain some sort of balance! Since then, the suitcase of scandals has grown even larger. Makes you wonder if such a tournament is worth staging.

     

    My other complaint with the organizers has to do with the manner in which the IPL was born: Sans grace. Lalit Modi (now persona non grata) directly lifted the idea from the Zee group (ICL), without even leaving behind a little Post-it note saying ‘Thank you for the idea, guys’. Rather, the BCCI used tremendous money power to demolish their show, even going to the extent of penalizing young players who had signed up with the ICL. Here’s another interview memory: I met Kapil Dev (then in charge of putting the ICL together) in 2007 (for Mumbai Mirror). The national hero looked utterly crestfallen and defeated… he knew he was captaining a fast sinking ship. I can’t bring myself to respect a project that’s created out of malice and vendetta.

     

    However, all this doesn’t change the fact that the IPL is huge, it’s very successful, and it’s here to stay. Everyone loves it. Uncles, aunties, bhabhies, nephews, nieces, saases, bahus, and the family dog. As ticket sales plummet for traditional cricket, there’s always a mad rush for this nonsense club cricket, people beg and plead for passes. And the TV audiences remain faithful over the long two month period. Plus, it makes marketers very happy. Advertisers queue up to open their purse strings, even if they otherwise complain of ‘recessionary times’. In short, the nation has taken to the IPL gleefully, and old world relics like myself have no option but to eat humble pie and watch the madness from the sidelines.

     

    So let the games begin. Yes, I will gate crash this party. Look out for my review of the opening ceremony on Friday. I am already going ‘Dhumping Dhapaka’, or whatever else Farah Khan calls it.

     

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    PS: Now this I like. We need more such cool and spirited souls in India. We are a nation of stuck up people, and it is maha refreshing to watch singer Anvita Dutt personally arrive to accept her ‘insult’. Jai ho!

     

    Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5yXEB6meCo&feature=youtu.be

     

  • The IPL opening ceremony turned out to be a damp squib, For some strange reason, the long, boring opening sequence resembled a Russian circus, notes Anil Thakraney

    Anil Thakraney | IPL Opener: Dekhne ka nahin tha!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    The great marketer Shah Rukh Khan forgot one very important marketing lesson: He promised a ‘never seen before’, ‘spectacular’ IPL opening ceremony. And it turned out to be a damp squib. The megastar should learn that one must only make a huge promise when one is 100% sure of delivering. Because when you don’t, you leave your customers very disappointed.

     

    A few random observations on this flop show:

    I saw Kapil Dev doing a maha stupid dance step. How the mighty have fallen! Guess the ex-ICL boss had no option but to bite the bullet, forget about his miscarriage, and embrace big bucks. All very well, I suppose, we all have to make a living. But Paaji shouldn’t have agreed to shake a leg, our ‘national treasure’ cuts a very sorry figure doing that.

     

    CM Mamata Didi was all smiles (even as a student leader had got bludgeoned to death in her backyard). I am beginning to feel whenever the lady spots SRK, unke andar kuchh kuchh hota hai. 🙂 But sadly she was dressed in her usual low-cost cotton sari. Didi should have turned out in jeans and tees, that goes nicely with the IPL. And had she done so, everyone would have forgotten about Deepika and Katrina.

     

    Meanwhile, the two Bollywood sirens went through the motions, dancing to the usual item songs. You could see they wanted to get their gigs done with quickly, the disinterest showed. Perhaps the steamy Kolkata summer bogged down our pretty ladies. SRK tried his best to look energetic, but what I recall most is him gasping endlessly into the microphone. Old age is catching up, boss!

     

    For some strange reason, the long, boring opening sequence resembled a Russian circus. With what appeared like Ukrainian performers doing acrobatics. Er, what was the point of this nonsense? Even the cricketers looked very bored. Or, was the IPL boss Rajeev Shukla admitting, in his own sweet way, that the IPL is a circus?

     

    Missed RCB boss, Dr Vijay Mallya. Usually the high life loving liquor baron occupies the prime spot at such glittering parties. Guess the man’s got lots to worry about these days. And if Kingfisher’s unpaid employees saw him air kiss Deepika and Katrina, they won’t be very amused. Wise of Dr Mallya to keep away.

     

    Finally, the Cal junta appeared to be enjoying the Pitbull blast. And it’s good the rapper kept his foul mouth in check, usually Pitbull likes to write lyrics that are offensive to women. Had they crossed the line, our dudes would have found themselves at the receiving end of Didi’s neeli patti Bata chappals.

     

    PS: Excellent ad against domestic violence. Creeps you out, as it should. What makes the ad very effective is that it feels very real.

     

     

  • It's going to be 'hello, water cooler' once again as the Yahoo! CEO doesn't like employees working out of homes, writes Anil Thakraney and asks: Is it a big high winning a cricket World Cup when Australia and England don't take part

    Anil Thakraney: Indians are poor home workers

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Yahoo!’s CEO Marissa Mayer doesn’t like her employees working out of their homes. So she’s turned the ‘tech connectivity’ clock into reverse mode, and it’s back to the good old ‘water cooler’ for thousands of rather displeased Yahoo! staffers. The HR memo explains Mayer’s rationale: ‘Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home. We need to be one Yahoo!, and that starts with physically being together.’

     

    I agree with Mayer in principle. It’s not just about speed, the best ideas happen when you collaborate face to face, and that simply cannot happen over e-mails, phone calls and Skype. I have been working out of home for some years now, and the one thing I miss the most (from my last full time job with Mumbai Mirror) is the fertile smoking zone (don’t know if it still exists in these hyper politically correct times). Not just because we used to bond there, but that bonding often resulted in leads and new angles for stories and opinion pieces. Now that I work on my own, there’s no one to bounce off ideas with, I have to rely on my own instincts. And admittedly, that’s not the ideal scenario.

     

    Having said that, must say this arrangement works nicely for me. The peace (no loud phone conversations in the background) is a huge bonus. And there’s no chance of being distracted by pretty staffers traipsing around my cubicle. Not to mention the obvious benefit: Being able to duck the mind-effing Mumbai traffic jams. And of course, that biggest plus of all (for us men): Not having to shave every day. The productivity therefore shoots up, and am able to achieve more in a work day. And still have time left to do my own thing. Ms Mayer may have overlooked these advantages in her controversial memo.

     

    And yet, I can say with some degree of confidence that in the Indian context, the ‘work from home’ policy will seldom work out. This is because we desis are natural shirkers, and when left unattended, most of us will go off track. Also, many Indians live within joint family households, and this can lead to many disturbances. In addition, India isn’t a nation known for its strong work ethic. Even while being on the employee payroll, I am certain some staffers would be using time to make a quick extra buck from elsewhere. Therefore, when viewed from our prism, Mayer does have a point. Perhaps she should have restricted the memo to Yahoo!’s Bangalore office. 🙂

     

    PS: Congrats to Leo Burnett for scoring big at the Goafest. Was refreshing to see folks dressed in colourful clothes (rather than the usual all-black) in the Big Winner picture. However, with O&M backing out this year, and Lowe as usual not participating, does this victory really amount to much? Is it a big high winning a cricket World Cup when Australia and England don’t take part? I suspect not.

     

  • Time for debates and angry tweets/FB updates is over. It's time for hard action. The Goafest organizers should announce that scam ads entered slyly as official work will invite a hefty fine for the ad agency

    Scamadgate-2 | Anil Thakraney: Penalize the scamsters

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    There has been a rather muted reaction to Leo Burnett’s Tata Salt scam radio adverts. In contrast with all the sound and fury over the JWT Ford Figo ads. Surely Burnett’s ‘crime’ isn’t any lesser. I can only think of one reason: The ad junta is tiring of news on scams, a few senior industry folks I spoke with only shrugged with helplessness and resignation: ‘So what’s new, man?’

     

    Enough has been discussed on the subject of scam ads (including by myself), so there’s nothing more to add. However, I am now convinced all this talk has been pointless, that scams will always rule in the desi ad world. Not just because these ads land people new jobs and increments (and are therefore created), but because India is a country of scamsters. There’s a ghotala happening in all walks of life, so why must the ad frat be any different, they haven’t arrived from Pluto. I guess the time has come to accept that they will happen again and again. And therefore, the debate must shift from ‘How to cure this disease’ to ‘How to control it’.

     

    The social media buzz suggests creating a separate category for scam ads, thus legalizing them. This idea is as old as the hills, I recall proposing it fifteen years ago in the ad mag I was editing at the time. This will never work because once they are called ‘Unreleased Work’, such ads will not land people any real recognition, and therefore no new jobs. Agency heads will treat it as ‘jerk-off’ stuff, and dismiss it. So then what to do?

     

    I think the solution lies in financial punishment. For the next year, the GoaFest organizers should announce that scam ads entered slyly as official work will invite a hefty fine for the ad agency. Let’s say, a penalty of Rs 25 lakhs per scam ad. The world’s second oldest profession isn’t generally respected by the masses. And that can be corrected a bit by passing on the amount collected as fines to charity organizations. The ad world gets a positive name, and the threat of monetary loss will deter many potential scamsters.

     

    The GoaFest team must give this suggestion a serious thought if they want their trophies to get some respectability. They need to play the role of cops, and not just festival organizers. Because frankly, I can’t think of any other way out of this rotten mess. Time for debates and angry tweets/FB updates is over. It’s time for hard action.

     

    ***

     

    PS: On a recent visit to Delhi, I noticed that this product finds pride of place in the medical store shop windows. Not surprising, given the rising rate of crimes against women in India’s capital city. At this rate, ‘Pepper Spray’ will replace India Gate as Delhi’s glowing symbol.

     

  • Once Modi positions himself as the Next Big Thing (which he’s very busy doing), it will be impossible for the BJP to nominate someone else

    Anil Thakraney: Full On Modi Mania!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    So, mota bhai has decided to emerge from his Gujarat hideout for a Bharat Darshan. Modi has sniffed a golden opportunity of becoming the nation’s PM in 2014, and is therefore on a media feeding frenzy. No medium is being spared. Conferences, seminars, TV interviews, Twitter, 3D holograms, it’s all happening. And I think he’s doing the right thing at the right time. The janata is maha fed up of UPA’s assorted corruption scandals, and the BJP does have a chance to get back into power, provided, of course, they can hitch up support from regional satraps, and that’s not going to be easy.

     

    The 360-degree media blitz will not just get Modi quick national attention, it will help him crash Advaniji’s perpetual dream of becoming PM (as also the hopes of other BJP contenders). Once Modi positions himself as the Next Big Thing (which he’s very busy doing), it will be impossible for the BJP to nominate someone else.

     

    Even better news for the controversial neta is that the media fully reciprocates the love and affection. This is because Modi is a colourful character, a cool orator, and you can be assured of wicked soundbites. In complete contrast with his arch rival, Rahul baba, who’s a huge bore. This attracts journalists to the man like bees to a beehive (Oops! Politically incorrect metaphor, hehe). There’s another reason for the media’s lust for Modi, and I can say this as a journalist: I think each reporter/anchor is secretly hoping that the much demanded and much awaited apology to the Muslims will happen on his/her channel/portal/newspaper. Well, that apology isn’t coming anytime soon, but it keeps the journos on their toes. And I am pretty certain the clever Gujarati leader is aware of this, and is using it to his full advantage.

     

    Also, luck seems to be running on Modi’s side; Shri Jagdish Tytler, the face of the 1984 anti Sikh riots, is here to help mota bhai’s cause. With the case reopening now, the Congress’s 2002 anti-Modi strategy gets instantly negated. So, expect a Modi media blast right till the next general elections. Of course, whether it will convert into votes, and the PM’s job, is another story.

     

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    PS: This is not for the attention of Narendra Modi, he already knows how to handle the press. But every stuck-up, self-obsessed Indian movie star and celeb should watch this video. This is Jennifer Lawrence at a press con, soon after winning the Oscar. Witty, charming, disarming, natural. That’s the way to go, people.

     

     

     

  • The people who will actually queue up to cast their votes will, as usual, come from the lower or very lower classes. They have no interest in the social media chatter, they give a damn about who tweeted what

    Anil Thakraney: The Feku/Pappu tamasha

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Two stories from last week caught my attention. One, as the battle of Feku (NaMo) and Pappu (RaGa) got raging on the social media, with both their followers (many of them fake) getting into a mudslinging match, the television media got busy discussing the social media’s impact on politics. On whether all the fan following (or hatred) on Twitter will affect the fortunes of the netas in the next elections. Well, all they had to do was ask me, and save themselves a lot of precious airtime. The answer is a big NO. And I don’t say that because a vast majority (over 95%) of Indians aren’t connected on social media, that would be the obvious explanation.

     

    I say that because a vast majority of those who are, are likely to be from the Great Indian Middle Class. The class that cribs heavily but never goes out to vote (me included!). The kind of people who have opinions on politics but don’t wish to engage with the process. These people are having fun on the internet, and all they want to do is outsmart each other on the ‘retweet’ value, have a good laugh, and then forget all about it. The people who will actually queue up to cast their votes will, as usual, come from the lower or very lower classes. They have no interest in the social media chatter, they give a damn about who tweeted what. They will vote for the same reasons they always vote: Regularization of their bastis, a new bore well, electricity connection, etc. And they will vote keeping caste, religion, language, etc, in mind.

     

    In short, enjoy all the outpouring on the internet. It’s fultoo time pass, and nothing more.

     

    The other story was that ‘super exclusive’ on Times Now. Which involved bowler Sreesanth giving the channel a soundbite, which had him ranting about the ‘Slapgate’, an incident that happened five long years ago! What was funnier was Arnab babu excitedly announcing that ‘this is the biggest cricket controversy’. Wow, Mr Goswami, you call a slapping incident post an IPL match a bigger controversy than the assorted match fixing scandals? Anyway, Sreesanth is upset it’s still being called ‘Slapgate’, he claims he was never actually slapped. Apparently, our man was struck by Bhajji, with the latter using the back of his palm, and not the front. Therefore, according to Sreesanth, that can’t be called a slap. Haha. Two things: One, Arnab babu needs to dig harder for real stories if trash like this is getting him fired up these days. Two, mental Sreesanth needs urgent help.

     

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    PS: Interesting campaign by The Guardian for its US launch. Using graphic design, each ad puts out two sides of a heated political debate. The flip side of the ad reveals the flip side of the argument, so to speak. Fantastic work by the art director.