MxMIndia

Category: HARD KNOCKS

Anil Thakraney’s view on adland, medialand and more

  • This is what usually happens after crimes of rape. Another juicy story will grab the imagination, the trial of the accused will go on for years, and the nation will move on. The debates will re-start when the next attack happens. In short, a whole lot of sound, but of little value

    Anil Thakraney: Feeding frenzy over rape

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    And so, another horrific rape has happened in Delhi. And the media has gone into an overdrive, as the channels try to outdo each other on the frenzy scale. Panelists are shouting, anchors are hollering, and this has led to parliamentarians taking a break from FDI and quotas, and diving into the rape debate. BJP leader Sushma Swaraj has asked for death penalty for the rapists, completely ignoring the fact that India is reluctant to hang convicted terrorists. And of course, the activists can’t be left far behind. Morchas are being planned on the streets. Even Arvind Kejriwal decided to forget corruption for a day, and he’s joined in the act. All very well. But you know what? Nothing will come out of all this shor sharaba.

     

    One, because after the dust has settled, the media will forget all about this incident. This is what usually happens after crimes of rape. Another juicy story will grab the imagination, the trial of the accused will go on for years, and the nation will move on. The debates will re-start when the next attack happens. In short, a whole lot of sound, but of little value.

     

    Secondly, the main reason why rapes continue is the medieval mindset of the average Indian male. As long as we live in a patriarchal society, where the male head of the house sets the agenda, this crime will simply carry on. And for the hard-core buggers, even the possibility of life imprisonment won’t be a deterrent. It could take centuries for this mindset to change, we cannot allow rapes to go on. Our scientists, doctors and creative people need to figure out a way around this problem, we need lateral solutions. In South Africa, a medical technician has developed a product called RAPEX. It’s shaped like a tube and is embedded with barbs. The woman inserts it like a tampon, and any man who tries to rape her gets his organ stuck into these barbs. We need innovative ideas like this.

     

    And this is the sort of stuff the media should encourage and promote. Screaming and shouting on prime time TV is of no use in this matter. By the way, I write this piece on the evening of Tuesday. And have consumed a higher dose of BP tablets to deal with Arnab’s rage on rape.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Speaking of rape, here’s an ad gone all wrong. Virgin Mobile is known for quirky work, but sometimes creative people can cross the thin line. A US ad has tried to make fun of rape. Even the otherwise edgy Sir Richard Branson was compelled to apologise following outrage in the social media.

     

  • Why is it that we journalists don't bother to do rigorous, sustained follow-ups on such important stories, why do we quickly move on to the next one? (The Gujarat election result has already hijacked the Delhi incident.)

    Anil Thakraney: Amnesiac Indian media

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    How many of you remember the rape and brutal murder of the Dalit girl in Khairlanji? Am sure some of you do. How many of you are aware of the current status of that criminal case? Perhaps very few of you. And how many of you can recall the victim’s name? I would hazard a guess and say probably none of you. And this is just one example of how, as a nation, we quickly forget about such big tragedies. Sadly, the same fate awaits the poor girl who got viciously attacked inside the Delhi bus. And who’s to blame for this? The memory loss suffering desi media, of course.

     

    So then why is it that we journalists don’t bother to do rigorous, sustained follow-ups on such important stories, why do we quickly move on to the next one? (The Gujarat election result has already hijacked the Delhi incident.) The reason for that is the training our editors give us from a very young age. Right from the start it’s ingrained in us to always be topical, to always dig into the latest, hottest news, to always churn out fresh content. So that you remain one-up on the rivals. It’s also assumed that the public tires out from repeated coverage of the same story. I have personally witnessed editors striking down stories because they were too ‘old’.

     

    The way this nation is going downhill in many respects, I am beginning to feel there is an urgent change required in the ideology of ‘new, new news’. Editors need to reboot their strategies, they must encourage their reporters and deskies to keep a regular track of significant stories, right till the point they reach their logical end. Perhaps restructuring of the newsroom is required, so that one set of journos cover the topical stuff, and the others cover continuing stories. After all, readers and viewers have never said they don’t wish to consume ‘old’ news, the ‘latest news’ approach has become a default operating programme inside newsrooms.

     

    And sustained coverage will keep the pressure points alive. No criminal will ever rest in assurance with ‘mamla thode din ke baad thanda ho jaayega’. It’s time for some doggedness in the newsrooms. Let’s get stuck into these slime balls, and let go only after justice is served. We owe this to the nation.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Last week, the popular US TV comedy show, Saturday Night Live, took a break from their regular jokes, and opened with a touching tribute to the dead kids of Newtown school. It features the New York City Children’s Chorus singing “Silent Night.” Good thinking.

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XGFiE536gg[/youtube]

     

  • So if the battle of 2014 is going to be fought between these two brands, simple marketing logic tells us who's the favourite one to win

    Anil Thakraney: Brand Modi versus Brand Rahul

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Human beings are brands too. The same principles of product quality, marketing effort, positioning and consumer image apply. Which is why we must evaluate them in terms of pure marketing logic. Today, let’s take up the case of Brand Gandhi Junior and Brand Narendra Modi.

     

    Brand Modi is a powerful brand, and we already know that. Consumers are crystal clear on the positioning, and the brand consistently delivers what it promises. Brand Modi primarily appeals to the emotion, and backs that up with rational logic. The ‘Hindu Fighter’ image appeals to the majority in the state of Gujarat. And for the fence-sitters, it’s the ‘development’ platform that works. In that sense, Brand Modi is perceived to be a complete brand. Therefore even if the rest of India does not favour the primary image of this brand, the saleability increases on account of the secondary promise. This dual positioning will be of immense value for Brand Modi in 2014. What makes this brand even stronger is its charismatic personality, which is supported by aggressive marketing and promotion. Consumers like to be associated with the brand, and this further strengthens saliency.

     

    In short, a clear market positioning, consistent delivery, powerful brand values and a huge consumer connect. Clear winner.

     

    The case of Brand Rahul is the exact opposite. There is no perceptible brand positioning, therefore the consumer is unclear on what it stands for. What makes things worse is that the house from which this brand emanates, its USP, has lost saliency over the years. In addition, Brand Rahul seldom gets promoted in the market place, therefore consumers are kept in the dark on its efficacy. And no one puts money on an ‘enigmatic’ brand, unless it’s a top-end perfume. In addition, on the few occasions Brand Rahul has been made visible in the market, its performance has been a disaster. Therefore, the brand connotes negative values.

     

    In short, vague brand imagery, lack of product performance and poor marketing effort. Clear loser.

     

    So if the battle of 2014 is going to be fought between these two brands, simple marketing logic tells us who’s the favourite one to win. Unless, of course, Brand Rahul does a complete turnaround in the coming period, and I doubt that’s going to happen. It’s a hopeless brand.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Incredible stuff. It’s impossible to believe these are illustrations, not photographs. Now this is art I truly adore. Hope to find such talent in India… imagine the millions of rupees advertisers can save by avoiding over-paid photographers.

     

    Link: http://www.creativebloq.com/illustration/realistic-pencil-drawings-11121172

     

  • The question on everyone’s mind is this: How will his retirement from ODIs affect the champ’s advertising career?

    Anil Thakraney: The challenge for Brand Sachin

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Okay, so Tendlya has finally decided to hang up his large boots. At least from the limited overs format of the game (though am certain his IPL ‘career’ will rock on, too much moolah at stake to let that one go). However, he still seems keen to play test cricket, though many (including me) believe he ought to have resigned from that too.

     

    Anyway, the question on everyone’s mind is this: How will his retirement from ODIs affect the champ’s advertising career? I think it will get hit big-time. For the simple reason that one-day cricket is where the crowds come in, it also allows a player to play a blazing inning. Advertisers would therefore be keener on this particular format. In any case I seriously doubt if at this old age Sachin will be able do anything spectacular in test cricket. All this therefore means there’s very little chance of bagging endorsement deals from here on. So then what can Sachin do to extend his brand franchise?

     

    Well, if he opts for the commentary box or if he turns into a cricket coach, that wouldn’t interest the advertisers one bit. Brand managers like to put their monies only on active players. This is the reason why ex-cricketers like Dravid, Ganguly and others have disappeared from the ads. Sachin’s role model therefore has to be Amitabh Bachchan. He needs to find a path which will either help him remain in the public eye, or the man is able to directly change lives. Just as Bachchan discovered KBC, Sachin needs to explore opportunities in that space. Or, since he’s already an MP, the newly minted politician can dive right into social work. As an example: The anti-rape campaign, which is on top of the agenda for the nation. That would help build the image of a hero who cares for the aam aadmi. That could also result in certain advertisers getting interested.

     

    The point is: Who’s advising the man these days? The right adviser will help Sachin extend his career for many more years (just like Big B). The wrong adviser will ensure Sachin becomes history as far as endorsement deals go. What is of no doubt here is that we are about to witness a terrific case study in human brand marketing.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Yet another cool ad from Nike. In my books, amongst brands that have managed to captivate the junta’s hearts and minds by selling powerful attitude, Nike ranks tops.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hEzW1WRFTg[/youtube]
  • Here's what I would like to see happen in the New Year

    Anil Thakraney: Badly mangta in 2013 – TV reporters who report, not incite. Freshness in papers. Controversy-free TV measurement. Fewer celebs in ads….

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Here’s what I would like to see happen in the New Year. These are random demands, in no particular order:

     

    1. Innovations and freshness in newspapers and magazines. For their own healthy future, editors need to stop recycling content already put out by the internet and television.

     

    2. Less juvenile chatter by radio jocks, and more music. Also, a limit on ads. Don’t kill the goose that already lays very few golden eggs.

     

    3. A little more objectivity in television debates. Is that too much to ask for? Perhaps it is.

     

    4. And some new voices, please? Quite tired of the same thakela faces, night after night.

     

    5. Less hysteria in the Hindi news channels. A pipe dream, but one lives in hope.

     

    6. No more stories of journos caught demanding money for news. Or canoodling with fixers and agents. Not ever again.

     

    7. TV reporters will report. Not incite mobs. Repeat. Report. Not incite mobs.

     

    8. A strong No 2 at Times Now.

     

    9. Unity amongst ad agencies. No bitching, only constructive meetings.

     

    10. More public service work from creative directors. Anti-rape campaign, anyone?

     

    11. Better creative work in the digital domain. It’s high time this happened.

     

    12. Controversy-free television viewership measurement study.

     

    13. No more hit-and-run journalism. Let’s leave that to Arvind Kejriwal. Hoping for sustained coverage of important stories.

     

    14. Scam-free ad award fests.

     

    15. Self-censorship in the media coverage. No one wants an external monitor.

     

    16. TV soaps will move at a quicker pace. And Bigg Boss will feature at least a few intelligent participants.

     

    17. At least a couple of reasonably good press ads.

     

    18. Fewer number of misleading ads. They give the entire ad world a bad name.

     

    19. Fewer celebrities in ads. More impetus on the idea.

     

    20. To break the monotony of political news, female news anchors to sex up. To get nicely ‘dented and painted’, as that moronic son of Pranabda would put it.

     

    Happy New Year! Cheers!

     

  • The Delhi tragedy should serve as a major turning point for us in the media. Despite all the good work, one thing we have lacked in so far is doggedness. We must demonstrate it this time

    Anil Thakraney: Media’s New Year resolution: Not to move on

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Make no mistake about this: Had the crowds not revolted and had the media not kept up the pressure, for sure the horrific Delhi rape case would have become just another sad statistic. The case would have languished in the courts for years and years, exactly what happens in most rape cases. In fact, the cops wouldn’t have demonstrated the urgency to nab the culprits.

     

    However, the real struggle begins now. As the crowds thin out, as other stories take centre stage, the rape case will turn into one more story to be covered. That is in the nature of the media. This must not be allowed to happen. Each one of us journalists, whatever be our field of specialization, must take a solemn oath to not take our eyes off this tragedy, and to keep the relentless pressure on till justice has been delivered to the dead girl and till real change happens in the laws and, more importantly, in their implementation. Till special courts are created all over the nation and till all rape cases get dealt with inside six months. This is going to be a long struggle and we must be prepared for it.

     

    In that sense, the Delhi tragedy should serve as a major turning point for us in the media. Despite all the good work, one thing we have lacked in so far is doggedness. We must demonstrate it this time, and it will become a precedent for the future. The government’s desire has and will always be that the media will forget about stories with time. We must show them that it will not happen on this occasion.

     

    What’s the fear? That the viewers and the readers will get bored with the continuous coverage of the same story? Well, let’s give it a shot to check if that will indeed happen, or if that’s an unfounded notion we in the media harbour. Perhaps the problem lies in our heads. To my mind, the Delhi rape must be used as a lesson to change the way we function. It should not be business as usual. We owe it to the women and to the children of this nation.

     

    Every single one of us in the media must make this change our New Year resolution. Personally, I have taken an oath not to ever move on from this issue. Even at the risk of boring you to death.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Yesss! Exactly my feelings, because India is swarming with stinky, sweaty people. Partly because of the weather, partly because of the over-crowding and partly because of poor self-hygiene. This is one desi ad accidently created abroad.

     

     

  • I am fully with the rest of the journalists who believe that Zee did the right thing. Even if the case is in court, the janata has every right to hear the man's version

    Anil Thakraney: Zee News’s coup

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    There are two distinct points of view on whether Zee News did the right thing with their one-on-one interview with the Delhi rape victim’s friend, who accompanied her on the bus. The Delhi cops are naturally pissed off and have threatened legal action against the channel. That’s because the cops came out quite pathetically in the said interview.

     

    Some media folks believe that Zee should not have carried this story. One, because the case is sub-judice and the friend’s (he’s the key witness) testimony in public may affect the trial. Two, they believe it wasn’t morally correct to exploit an injured victim for TRPs and make him relive the tragedy all over again, that too just a few weeks after it happened. While there might be a point in this line of thinking, I smell something burning out here. Because this was a journalistic coup for the channel.

     

    I am fully with the rest of the journalists who believe that Zee did the right thing. Even if the case is in court, the janata has every right to hear the man’s version. Because he had lived that very unfortunate situation, he knows better than anyone else on what exactly transpired that night. And what he said is pretty alarming. It was not just the criminals who did the rape victim wrong, the hangers-on who stood and did nothing and the cops who took their sweet time to react are also party to the girl’s death. These issues have to be exposed and discussed in public, because only then will real change happen. It won’t happen just by punishing the culprits.

     

    I also liked the way the anchor handled the interview. It was professional and to the point, minus the hysteria (unusual for a Hindi news channel). And the anchor very rightly kept away from the rape itself. In fact, the victim wasn’t discussed much, and this we must appreciate. All in all, full marks to Zee News. This was a much needed effort after the channel’s senior personnel had been accused of trading news for money on another story.

     

    And Zee News should ignore the nay-sayers. Every single media brand in this nation would have killed for this interview.

     

    ***

     

    PS: I am a little confused on why the media chose to keep the rape victim’s identity a secret long after she had passed away. This not only doesn’t make sense, it’s unfair to Pratibha Murthy, Nayana Pujari, Jyotikumari Choudhary and many others. And if you are wondering who these girls are, then that saddens me. It is the loss of public memory that one finds most depressing.

     

  • How long will we allow ourselves to get fooled by these frauds? How long will we allow the world to laugh at our expense? How long will we let these charlatans use us?

    Anil Thakraney: Block the gas bags

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Every second day, since the Delhi rape and murder, a deranged neta or a phony baba rears his ugly head. And lets off a wind blast that smells pretty foul. It’s okay, I guess. The Constitution allows every individual the right to free speech, and that includes farting, one might presume. The problem is: I am now beginning to suspect these dolts aren’t really crazy, they are using the gassy opportunity to acquire instant infamy. And notoriety sells too, we know that. It’s much more valuable than oblivion.

     

    So, the familiar pattern unfolds: The man farts. The social media goes into a tizzy. The news channels go ballistic. Arnab Goswami and gang find juicy fodder to feed on. Screaming and jostling happens on TV debates. Next day, the newspapers do cover stories on it. The international media now gets interested; anything that makes Indians look like medieval fools sells like hot cakes in the west. On the weekend, the news mags dutifully carry forward this trash. And Mr Gas Bag, within a single week, turns into a huge celebrity. Phony babas acquire more followers. And opportunistic netas get quick OTS. And this sequence repeats itself.

     

    How long will we allow ourselves to get fooled by these frauds? How long will we allow the world to laugh at our expense? How long will we let these charlatans use us? In fact, I must add here that some of the farts belted out by these buggers are criminal in nature, they abet rape. The media needs to ponder on this subject. My own view is that it’s time to put a stop to this crap. These gas bags must be banned from the mass media. Not able to air their stink, these sods will quit farting. As simple as that. That indeed might be the best way to stop this weekly nonsense.

     

    And all the media time and space must be devoted to the rape trial itself. Even if it’s being held in-camera. We take our eyes off the ball, and the rotten system will slowdown once again.

     

    ***

     

    PS: I couldn’t stop sniggering at this one. It appears the western world has decided to ape our desi ad guys. This is Brad Pitt endorsing Chanel No 5. Don’t miss the usual ad clichés, the ultra boring script and zero brand relevance. We get to watch this sort of rubbish celeb advertising all the time. People, our ‘talent’ is spreading far and wide.

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF8NAyqxGfk[/youtube]

     

  • In this depressing scenario, all the fury in the media is indeed required. The viewing public feels a little vindicated. And the army jawans might feel their own anger getting vented

    Anil Thakraney: Rage on, Arnab!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Arnab Goswami is Indian television media’s all-season angry middle-aged man. That we all know. But when it comes to issues on Indo/Pak conflict, his anger turns into savage fury. As we are currently witnessing in the case of the mutilated bodies of Indian soldiers, the deed allegedly done by Pak soldiers. And Arnab’s anger very quickly becomes contagious; anchors on other channels, who start out rather calmly, switch to the anger mode. And for days it becomes a lot of shouting and heckling on all the news channels.

     

    My first thoughts: It’s a complete waste of time and energy. The Pakistani government gives a rat’s arse about all the drama inside Indian TV studios, and will continue with what they want to do. For example, all the rage over 26/11 has yielded zero results so far. It’s also quite possible that the Pak netas and indeed their army generals had no role to play in the mutilation of the soldiers’ bodies. This cowardly act may well have been carried out by a few barbaric, retarded Pak soldiers of their own volition; therefore it would be difficult for even Pak to get to the truth. In short, a pointless exercise, a needless diversion from the anti-rape campaign.

     

    However, on second thoughts, I do believe we need the anger going on Pakistani issues. Simply because we are a proven soft state, we have a Prime Minster for whom even opening the mouth becomes a challenging task. As usual, all we are hearing is the same old useless political reactions: We will lodge a protest, we will take suitable action, we will not allow this, etc. And this can and will have a negative effect on the morale of the army. Why fight for a nation when it doesn’t care if you die, and if the head from your body is chopped off?

     

    In this depressing scenario, all the fury in the media is indeed required. The viewing public feels a little vindicated. And the army jawans might feel their own anger getting vented. This venting is very important to maintain status quo.

     

    So rage on guys! Keep insulting and humiliating the Paki spokespersons. We are right behind you!

     

    ***

     

    PS: Speaking of the Indo/Pak conflict at the LOC, here’s a stunning commercial from a music company. It’s set on Christmas Eve of 1914, when the Allies were at war with the Germans. Notice the honour code enemies dutifully follow in the zone of conflict. Wish the barbaric elements of Pakistan would learn something from this.

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aRLGwsafTM[/youtube]

     

  • The more you bow down to unreasonable demands of the I&B ministry, the more they'll walk all over you, Anil Thakraney advises the general entertainment channels

    Anil Thakraney: Blackout of Crime Patrol’s episode was senseless

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I was quite disappointed with the abrupt cancellation of Crime Patrol’s weekend episode, which was based on the terrifying Delhi gang rape and murder. As am sure were millions of other viewers. As a journalist, I am aware of most of the details of this horrific crime, so clearly there was nothing new the TV serial was going to offer me. My curiosity stemmed as a creative person; I wanted to see how the producers would deal with such an incident and its aftermath.

     

    The cancellation happened because the I&B Ministry ‘advised’ Sony against broadcasting the episode. This was clearly a ‘farman’ disguised as an advisory, and the channel dutifully obeyed it. While I am against the idea of the media backing down to government’s orders, I know where Sony is coming from. Disobedience can and will have ramifications in the long run. When the ruling government decides to fix you, you are in deep trouble, as the Tehelka guys would testify.

     

    My problem with the cancellation is this: Crime Patrol is one reality crime show that never sensationalizes crime. It has a track record of hundreds of episodes to prove this. The team deals with the incidents with a great deal of care and sensitivity. So I am one hundred percent certain that would be the case with the Delhi rape as well. The show’s focus has always been on crime prevention. Which is why the right thing in this situation would have been for the I&B Ministry babus to preview the episode, and THEN decide whether it is suitable for telecast or not. This sort of arbitrary notice for cancellation reeks of high handedness and insecurity on the part of the government.

     

    My other problem with the ‘advisory’ is that it defies all logic. The government has no problem with the news channels repeatedly discussing, debating (and often provoking) on this story. In fact, short of naming the victim, every single gory detail has been reported/discussed in the news media. But the babus have a problem with an entertainment channel telecasting a show based on the same incident! This is complete nonsense.

     

    Anyway, the entertainment channels have to take their own call on when to and when not to buckle under pressure. I only want to alert them on one thing: The more you bow down to unreasonable demands, the more they’ll walk all over you. There will have to come a time when you will need to take a strong stand.

     

    PS: Birthday cards are usually trashy, at least in India. But elsewhere, things seem to be getting interesting. Here’s a tweet about a Hallmark card meant for a 13 year old. Yup, it’s scandalous, but at least it’s not boring!

     

    https://twitter.com/Cheesyhel/status/277033958192074753/photo/1

     

  • If the team desires a continued, healthy run of this Big Brother clone, they need to be very picky in their choice of housemates, writes Anil Thakraney

    Anil Thakraney: Gh***a Alag Chhe!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I cannot claim ownership of the headline to this article, though wish I could. This is the crisp and to-the-point response from my tapori pal from Colaba, when asked of his views on Bigg Boss Season 6, which (mercifully) ended last week. Yes, it was that bad.

     

    Now, I am aware the show is targeted at the low brow audiences, but that’s no excuse for packing in ultra dull people inside the madhouse. This season’s collection was an all-time low, a group of completely uninteresting and unappealing participants. My guess is the producer and the channel suspected this to be the case along the way, and in a desperate last act, dispatched the totally lunatic Imam Siddiqui to this horrible party, to salvage some viewership. In fact, had it not been for this loon, the show would have been a complete disaster.

     

    If the team desires a continued, healthy run of this Big Brother clone, they need to make one big change for the future. They need to be very picky in their choice of housemates, as the viewing junta gets stuck with these sods for months together. I think there should be only one yardstick in the selection process: Either the person is highly engaging or he/she is fabulous to look at. Or is a really funny individual. Anyone who does not pass this criteria must be kicked out of the reckoning immediately.

     

    The complete flop show that was the ‘Grand Finale’ aired last weekend told me another thing: Mr Salman Khan is the real Bigg Boss of this show. Although I have no proof of this, I strongly suspect it’s the hunk, more than the voters, who decides the eliminations and the choice of the winner. The absolute power vested in the man means there’s no one from the team who has the guts to blow the whistle when things aren’t working. The finale was such a grand bore, it was a real challenge just to stay in. Yes, Salman Khan brings in his charisma to the proceedings, but his role should be restricted to anchoring it.

     

    Finally, to return to my tapori pal’s cutting-edge feedback, the ‘Alag Chhe’ promise was a blatant lie. It was back to street fights, juvenile tasks and a bunch of failed TV actors. If they had at least called it ‘Same Chhe’, my tapori friend might have been a tad kinder in his analysis.

     

    ***

     

    PS: Fantastic marketing innovation for an air conditioner brand. Very smart way to get the public enthused, and the media excited. Millions of dollars of free publicity using a simple device: Big Nose. Superb!

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”220″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElmEcfPEw2Y[/youtube]

     

    Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own

     

  • The time has come for Hollywood award show organisers to clamp down hard on family homilies, writes Anil Thakraney

    Anil Thakraney: Boring Golden Globes

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    The movie awards season is underway, and for the next month or so we shall be overloaded with the TV versions, both national and international. I shall review the assorted Bollywood award dramas along the way, but must say the start to the season has been less than exciting.

     

    As always, the Golden Globes opened the awards jamboree, and I was all set for some fun, wit and glory on VH1. Thing is, Hollywood award nights are usually crisp and sans all the natak that happens with Bollywood awards, so one expects to focus mainly on the winners and their winning performances. And some funnies from the show hosts. The Golden Globes did not disappoint on that count, and thank god their stars don’t perform raunchy item numbers on stage. It was a well-conceived show, so then why am I cribbing?

     

    Well, it’s got to do with the winners and their monotonous acceptance speech. Ten years ago, the trophy holders would go on and on and on, and make a billion viewers across the globe cringe with disgust. This prompted the organisers to get smart, and they came up with the idea of playing elevator music when the award acceptance speech time was up. Some die hard winners continued to ramble regardless, and so they started the practice of raising the music levels to blank out the extra verbosity. But clearly, Hollywood stars still haven’t learnt the virtue of a quick, snappy ‘Thank you everyone.’ They are still rambling and rambling like hell.

     

    The big problem (and thankfully this doesn’t happen with desi stars) is the desperate need to thank members of the family. Mother, father, husband, wife, sister, cousin, Moti, the dog, everyone. These incestuous greetings have nothing to do with the world at large, but that doesn’t discourage the winners. Ideally, we faithful viewers should be rewarded with a quick insight from the winning performance, a funny anecdote from the shoot or stuff we’ll otherwise never get to know. That would also make the show entertaining.

     

    I think time has come for Hollywood award show organisers to clamp down hard on family homilies. They should play Himesh Reshammiya’s scintillating nasal songs the moment a winner begins belting out the tiresome thank-you laundry list. 🙂

     

    PS: Haha. Found this ancient ad in my archives. This is America in the good ol’ fifties. In just sixty years, the world has turned upside down. If an organisation dares to release such an ad today, the brand manager and the ad agency staffers would get lynched under pointy stiletto heels. But have the mindsets really changed? That’s the moot question.