MxMIndia

Tag: Pratibha Patil

  • Time to move on, Sir. Please start lobbying for the post of President. You are a nice, honest, good man, so no one will mind supporting your candidature

    Anil Thakraney: MMS for Prez! Puhleez!

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    I implore all the political parties to do at least one good deed for the nation. Please send Dr Manmohan Singh to the Rashtrapati Bhavan, with all the accompanying pomp and gaiety. The man needs to retire ASAP, and what better old age home than the grandiose Bhavan?

     

    No, I am not suggesting this because MMS needs to be rewarded, but because the gentleman needs to be immediately ejected from the Prime Minister’s office. Don’t think anyone, not even Ms Rabri Devi, can do worse than him. Everyone adores MMS because he’s reputed to be a ‘nice guy’ and an ‘honest man’. Is this qualification enough to run such a huge, complicated, scandal-infested country? Would you hire a CEO based only on this yardstick? Heck, would you marry your daughter to a man based on this qualification alone?

     

    Let’s examine Mr Nice Guy’s scintillating resume. The nuclear deal, over which he staked his job and promised truckloads of energy and dosh to the nation, is all forgotten. The proposal of FDI in multi-brand retail was quickly scuttled at the first shout from the opposition leaders in the Parliament. The PM’s allowed his retro finance mantri to come up with that hare-brained scheme called Retrospective Tax, which has made global investors become very wary of India. The mother of all scams, the famed 2G scam, happened right under the watchful eye of Dr Singh. And the man keeps getting blackmailed by his allies, and is unable to deal with them. Worse, it’s hard to imagine MMS ran the RBI once, and brought economic reforms to India. Today, he has no idea how to stop the rupee from sliding down the hill, and petrol prices have been increasing as regularly as sixes get hit in the IPL. And these are just some of Mr Nice Guy’s achievements.

     

    No, we simply cannot afford to have this incompetent man hang around for another two years in office. The nation can deal with only so many failures. Time to move on, Sir. Please start lobbying for the post of President. You are a nice, honest, good man, so no one will mind supporting your candidature. Not even if you later get busy collecting frequent flyer miles, a la Ms Pratibha Patil.

     

    Please move on! It’s been rather nice knowing you.

     

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    PS: Must read for all creative people. Some powerful advice on how to keep the fires burning, and not let life’s set backs (petrol prices!) come in the way of creativity. It’s applicable to creators in all walks of life.

     

    Link: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/05/22/neil-gaiman-commencement-address/

     

     

  • The biggest problem for the President of India, as far as I can see, is whether they can stand for hours, saluting, during the Republic Day parade

    [MJR] Who will guard the Republic?

    By Ranjona Banerji

     

    The last week has been singularly dull as far as the news is concerned. No one jumped up and dominated the headlines as normal life (disaster, death, chaos, catastrophe, cricket, celebrities) continued on its normal course. But one question has been burning up the cyber waves and some print and hot air space: who will be the next President of India?

     

    Since many who live in neo-India believe that we already have and definitely should have an American-style presidential system (this justifying the large quantities of hamburgers and cupcakes which their progeny consume), the person who will assume this titular post is very important. The biggest problem for the President of India, as far as I can see, is whether they can stand for hours, saluting, during the Republic Day parade.

     

    But for neo-India, it is somebody who can represent India abroad and presumably, likes hamburgers and cupcakes. Even veggie hamburgers will do.

     

    The current incumbent, Pratibha Patil, has upset everyone in the ongoing battle of the Patils. The fact that she is building a house on army land has deeply upset a retired Lt Col, Suresh Patil. The fact that some rules were tweaked to build a very large house has got our hot air experts, our cyber warriors and large brigades of the generally self-righteous exceedingly upset. Anyway, she goes away in July.

     

    So then what?

     

    Some want the schoolchild-obsessed APJ Abdul Kalam to come back since he was popular though why we need a popular president beats me. Others think it is time Union Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee was helped up the stairs to a ceremonious post. Still others think it should be Prime Minister Manmohan Singh who gets the privilege. Lok Sabha Speaker Meira Kumar’s name is up there in the mix. Former Lok Sabha Speaker PA Sangma (he was a popular speaker, now!) was suggested but party boss Sharad Pawar has shot that one down.

     

    The most unimpeachable candidate seems to be the venerable Dr Karan Singh, but he may well be too erudite and well-spoken for neo-India to appreciate.

    The twitterati, as puerile as they are pliable, think that porn star Sunny Leone is a good choice.

    I leave you to chew over these choices, none of which we will make.

    You have until July.

     

  • We still don't know how the President acquired this army land for herself. Did she use her position as commander and chief of the armed forces, revenge for those hours of standing in the Republic Day parade with her hand to her forehead? Or did someone do all this for her?

    [MJR] Women on top: A caricature and a cartoon

    By Ranjona Banerji

     

    This week, we have to share the honours between two very important women. First – this is not because she is more important but because she sort of is, in an official kind of way – the President of India, Pratibha Patil.

     

    According to a group of ex-soldiers (you know the lot, formerly noble and so on and now a bit, well, suspect) have claimed that 2.6 lakh acres of army land in Pune, meant for housing jawans, has been taken over by the President to build her retirement home. If that wasn’t bad enough, two colonial-era bungalows have been broken down in the process.

     

    Now everyone knows, especially since Adarsh, that no one – not the army, not the government – actually wants to build anything for jawans. Since Adarsh, we also know that senior defence personnel, bureaucrats and politicians will happily take any government land cheap and make luxury homes for themselves and their families.

     

    Given Pune’s proximity to Mumbai, it is possible that the President was inspired by the Adarsh adarsh (that’s a pun by the way. It is clear, I make this clear, as we approach the next noosemaker, because it is possible that I will find my own neck in a noose. Jokes are verboten you see).

     

    Still, in all the fire and outrage – now an essential ingredient to any dish in modern India – we still don’t know how the President acquired this army land for herself. Did she ride in on silver, flashing her firearms? Did she use her position as commander and chief of the armed forces, revenge for those hours of standing in the Republic Day parade with her hand to her forehead? Or did someone do all this for her?

     

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    And then we reach the Great Supreme Leader who is incapable of staying out of the noose and the news. The indomitable Mamata Banerjee, crusader against communists and cartoonists. Ambikesh Mahapatra, a chemistry professor at Jadavpur University, apparently a hotbed of dangerous anti-Didi-ists, forwarded a cartoon which used dialogues from Satyajit Ray’s film Sonar Kellato poke a little gentle fun at the removal of Dinesh Trivedi as railway minister.

     

    Mahapatra and a neighbour were, therefore, arrested and kept in jail for one night for not only forwarding this hurtful and nasty cartoon but also outraging the modesty of a woman. They were also beaten up by members of the Trinamool Congress for the same crimes. The police, also upset at this mocking of the Great Supreme Didi, made a mockery of the justice system.

     

    In all this fun and games, could Didi be far behind? She promptly piped up saying those who commit crimes will be punished. Quite right.

     

    It goes without saying that Mahapatra’s act of forwarding the cartoon showed him to be a communist and therefore deserving of every punishment meted out to him. It also proves that West Bengal or Poschim Bongo or whatever it’s called, has to stop these illegal acts of laughing, giggling, sniggering, smirking at Didi’s expense. Is it any wonder that Dada has left the Kolkata Knight Riders and joined Pratibha Patil in Pune?