MxMIndia

Tag: Kolaveri

  • On the first working day of the year, Anil Thakraney presents the 20 things he desires from the Indian media and adworld.

    Media & Adland Wishlist 2012

     

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    The Indian media, in general, has got a number of things right. It puts serious pressure on the ruling government and sometimes the judiciary, so that the right things happen, and they happen fast. This crusading spirit is important in a slow- moving, chaotic nation like ours, so kudos on that front.

     

    However, there are a number of things that are not so right with our media, especially the mass media, and here’s hoping we get to see some course correction in the coming years. Here’s my Top Ten wish list.

     

    1. Radiagate was a wakeup call for all journalists. When access to the rich and powerful gets too close, one needs to quickly draw a line and back off. Some didn’t, and are lucky to still have their jobs. The scandal brought immense disrepute to the profession, and credibility will be hard to restore completely. Here’s hoping in the future the Indian media remains free of any such nonsense. We can’t afford it.

     

    2. The Broadcast Editors’ Association put out a 10-point code of conduct for news channels on how they should cover the Bachchan baby birth. And the very private family event passed off very privately without the channels breathing down their necks. What one would like to see in the coming year is that this practice becomes standard operating procedure during private celeb moments, and there is no need for codes any more. This would also delight Shri Katju.

     

    3. While it did change to a certain extent as the year closed, most editors behaved like Anna Hazare’s cheerleaders all through the year 2011. This is not just unfair, it’s against the fundamental principles of journalism. Here’s looking forward to less bias and more balance in the year 2012.

     

    4. It’s very clear that our media houses have aligned themselves with various political parties, and their respective biases keep becoming apparent even to the layman. This must change for sure, starting from 2012. Media without objectivity is like Rakhi Sawant without silicone. No one wants that.

     

    5. No more paid news. Repeat after me children… no more paid news. Repeat after me children… no more paid news.

     

    6. Here’s hoping all those TV anchors who indulge in hysteria and drama are promptly transported to the Bigg Boss house in the coming year. And are not allowed to enter newsrooms again. The junta wants news and views. Not nautanki.

     

    7. No more front half-pagers in the coming year. Where advertisers demand that the front page be vertically slashed. A fatwa needs to be declared against proprietors who agree to this criminal practice.

     

    8. Would like to see some kickass innovations in the print media this year. Both, newspapers and magazines. The digital media threatens big-time, it’s like a wolf at the door, and our old-world editors continue to pretend nothing’s happening, as they dish out the same tired stuff. I am also hoping editors who refuse to re-invent are shown the door before 2012 closes.

     

    9. Really wish that in the year 2012 the maha excitable radio jocks shut the eff up and play the effing music. Even if all the radio stations play the same ten songs at the same time.

     

    10. All the girls in the TV newsrooms need to glam up. I noticed the nails are becoming brightly coloured these days, but I want to see more. I mean, if I am stuck with the likes of Abhishek Singhvi, Chandan Mitra and Mani Shankar Ayer discussing the same tosh night after night, I need some joy to come from somewhere.

     

    Ad World 2012

    The Indian ad world, though it gives many awards to itself, hasn’t really set the world on fire. Okay, so we do score the odd international award now and then, but clearly we have a long way to go. Aside from that, our ad guys will face many serious challenges in the coming years, and quite frankly, I am not sure the industry leaders are ready as yet. I still get a sense of complacency and self-satisfaction when I meet agency bigwigs.

     

    Here are ten changes I would like to see in 2012.

    1. Once and for all, ad agencies must set aside their rivalries and egos, and must come together to work out a fee structure. It’s obvious the agencies are underpaid by their clients, and this puts serious pressure on their resources. This is also a common complaint I hear from agency heads. Well, grumbling won’t solve the problem. Start the New Year with many beers, and figure a way out!

     

    2. I think hot shops are back with a bang in the ad world, and in the coming year they will put real pressure on the large networks. Aggie and Padhi are just one example, but I predict more people will quit large agencies and set up their own boutiques. Since their rates will be lower, many clients will be tempted to defect from the traditional agencies. And I think this is a good development as it will result in superior work overall.

     

    3. Experts in TV media continue to head ad agencies, and I am hoping at least a few agencies will smash this system and promote young creative chaps skilled in the new media. Because old-world creative directors generally don’t understand the digital space, and they need to make way for the young geeks. Sooner the better.

     

    4. Simultaneously, I wish in the year 2012, youngsters in the ad agencies get off the internet (and that includes Facebook) and spend some time in the villages and small towns. There is a dire need for agency staffers to be well rounded in their skills. This is not Singapore. This is India, and a whole lot of people are still looking to buy their first colour TV.

     

    5. I wish ad agencies would bring back the lost pride into their strategic planning function. The number one reason many suits quit the business to join the world of marketing is the lack of brand planning within ad agencies. Ad agencies have become creative sweatshops, and this leaves no work for managers but to be good executors. Starting 2012, I am hoping this changes, because it’s bleeding the ad world of its talent.

     

    6. Dear Creative Director, please, please, please do at least ONE nice press ad in the year 2012. I beg of you. People still read newspapers in this nation. Puleeeeaze!

     

    7. I know the media buying function is now completely divorced from advertising. And it is my belief that this has badly affected media innovations. I recall those days when the three of us – the account executive, the media planner and the creative director – would lunch together and crack ad ideas. I hope at least once in the year 2012, Balki, Lynn and their client servicing person share a drink and discuss brands.

     

    8. No fake ads in 2012. Repeat after me, children. No fake ads in 2012. Repeat after me, children. No fake ads in 2012. Repeat after me, children.

     

    9. No noisy TV commercials in 2012. People don’t buy from shriekers. Repeat after me, children. No noisy commercials in 2012. People don’t buy from shriekers. Repeat after me, children.

     

    10. I am hoping at least one brand will show all of us how to exploit viral magic on the internet in 2012. At least one brand will become the Kolaveri of 2012.

     

    Cheers!

     

    Anil Thakraney has worn various hats in advertising and as a journalist for around 25 years. He is editor-at-large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own.

    Visual: Rafiq

     

  • The question bothering me is the question that I am sure is bothering all brand managers: How did Mumbai Mirror as a brand gain from this event?

    Hard Knocks: Did the flash mob benefit MM?

    By Anil Thakraney

     

    Good event idea from Mumbai Mirror, they organized a flash mob dance at Churchgate station with Tamil star Dhanush in tow. Not a very original idea, you have to say, because the event simply married the two viral sensations of the year… the Kolaveri video and the CST flash mob dance. Still, an event worth organizing for a city tabloid. Especially because of its appeal to young Mumbaikars.

     

    The question bothering me is the question that I am sure is bothering all brand managers: How did Mumbai Mirror as a brand gain from this event? Okay, they ran a cover story on it, but that edition will be tomorrow’s fish paper (as it happens to all akbaars), so where does it go from here? Even if the event goes viral, which is what the brand manager of the newspaper might be hoping for, how does it build the Mirror’s own brand image? What return on investment did they get on the venture?

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”200″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nABTOlE8avE[/youtube]

    Here’s a link to the video and you would notice someone else has hi-jacked the party, and after many views I could not spot the Mumbai Mirror branding anywhere. In fact, I spotted translites of other brands in the background, those already present at the Churchgate station. The least the Mirror team ought to have done was to flood the station with their creatives on the big day.

     

    I don’t know the answers, quite frankly. What I do know is that riding the net viral bandwagon is a great idea for brand marketing. At a relatively low cost, it can get you instant access to millions of consumers. But how does one ensure the brand remains the parent of the videos? That it gets paid back for its investment? I really think these answers need to be found before brand managers start salivating over this fantastic new medium.

     

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    PS: Haha. Deadly press release from Droga5,New York. Wonder if the local media fell for it. In India, I am quite certain, something like this would have been promptly published.

    Link: http://www.droga5.com/pressrelease/

  • Gouri Dange on how the Dilliwallahs far outshine the Mumbaiwallahs in talkshow lung power

    Gouri Dange:The Tower of Babel-Babble

    By Gouri Dange

     

    It’s not my mandate to talk about the news channels (that is ably done elsewhere on the MxMIndia site), but I couldn’t help snorting my coffee, at the alacrity with which one of the channels tried to cleverly throw in a new coinage, when The Slap incident happened.

     

    Speaking urgently into the camera (you can see the glee on their faces – after all, they’ve got some easily spreading news, lurid angles, lots of scope to whip up opinion polls and to repeat the incident frame-to-frame, this-and-that angle through the day), one newsperson (oh please, let me just use newswoman) used the word ‘Slapgate’ to label the incident. I mean comeon, “Slapgate”? Grow up, and grow away from the pretend-American phrases, please. Even the Americans don’t us the something-gate label for scandals or shocker incidents anymore.

     

    Some freshly-minted words and phrases after such an incident, do catch on. For instance, it was the easiest thing to caption the whole Slapping Incident ‘Why this kolaveri, kolaveri, kolaveri di?’ (kolaveri, for those who aren’t caught up by this gone-viral-on-internet song, means ‘murderous rage’ in Tamil). From A list channels to chota-mota papers, anchors and sub-editors instantly thought of asking cheekily (albeit unoriginally, as it turned out): Why this kolaveri…

     

    But some slapped-together phrases simply don’t make the cut. Chiefly because they don’t roll off the tongue well, though the newswoman concerned did a valiant job of spitting out all the awkward consonants of the word ‘Slapgate’as effortlessly as possible as many times as possible. The Hindi channels lovingly tossed the word ‘thappad’ around all day and well into the night. I didn’t watch MTV, but surely it was a landmark day for them, when their original One-Tight-Slap had suddenly become an official form of protest. The word ‘Slapgate’ didn’t hold, however many times the lady tried to use it with her expert guests also because the incident was dying down in spite of best efforts by mostly the electronic media and the usual suspects in Mumbai to keep it alive. Even TV channels faithfully moving the incident to other geographical locations, with various grassroots heroes putting their foots into their mouths while being asked for their reactions, didn’t quite help to keep the fizz and the buzz going.

     

    Never mind the various body parts – faces, palms, feet, and mouths. I am so through with watching that other body part – the Talking Head – on TV. And on Indian television, the heads rarely do much talking; they are only ever shouting heads. Some of them in fact seem to be trained and threatened by their handlers (their party, or their social organization) to keep saying whatever they want to say as if speaking into a dictaphone machine. No amount of attempts at interruptions, even by anchor people known to have PhDs in the Art of Interruption, can dam the flow of some of these shouters. It comes from the sad fact that they know how it is on Indian television. That if they pause for breath, some other geezer/geyser will instantly begin spouting, so they must say their say, without any of the natural rules of dialogue or debate being used.

     

    And in this, I think the Dilliwallahs far outshine the Mumbaiwallahs. In sheer lung power and in the tenacity, to go on talking over anything else being said. The Mumbaiwallah expert-panelist tries, but makes the fatal mistake of stuttering or trying to take an eloquent pause after making a point, only to be completely drowned out by shouting voices, who are not responding to him, so much as upchucking the words that are left in their stomachs, before the anchor begins screaming for a chance again.

     

    The important thing seems to be to not stop talking. So remember, Mumbai people, if you’re on one of these programmes, ‘Jo darr gaya, samjho marr gaya’, is the rule on Indian TV debates. Learn better breath control, never stop to clear your throat, and don’t make the fatal mistake of pausing to bleat some rhetorical question to the audience like ‘Don’t you agree?’ You’ll just give away your time to more able shouters.

     

    When we were very little, we played this game that one kid recites Jack and Jill on top of her voice while the other hollers Mary had a Little Lamb. The effort was to make your opponent forget her track and begin to inadvertently recite yours. I find the ‘discussions’ on prime-time Indian TV much like that game. At the risk of being stamped phoren-lover, I would much rather watch something being discussed on western television even if I have no particular interest in the subject, than watch and listen to the Babel-babble, even on relevant subjects, on Indian TV.

     

    Gouri Dange is a Pune-based counsellor, novelist and columnist. Naming No Names appears every Wednesday

  • If you think you've haven't had enough with the original, here are 9 variants of 'Why This Kolaveri' that's still a rage on You Tube and elsewhere.

    The Anchor: 9 variants of ‘Why This Kolaveri’ that have had YouTube afire!

    If you think you’ve haven’t had enough with the original, here are 9 variants of ‘Why This Kolaveri’ that are still a rage on You Tube and elsewhere.

     

    #1 First, the original in HD:

     

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR12Z8f1Dh8&feature=aso[/youtube]

    #2 Sharad Pawar slap version

     

    While we strongly condemn the attack on senior minister Sharad Pawar, what we have here is a variant that could well give the original a run for its money.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIhQm6gcUCw&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #3 Gujarati Kolaveri

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEQ6N-rJmUA[/youtube]

    The Gujaratis on the social networks were particularly pleased that  their homegrown DJs and RJs came up with this static image verson:

     

    #4 Funny Kid

     

    We thought it wasn’t really funny, but judging by the ‘views’, this version too has had its followers

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoZivBhTNZ0&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #5 Female version

     

    Again, no great shakes, but yet again the song’s popularity is such that even a mediocre cover could get a reasonable following

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW6gSMXXtPY[/youtube]

    #6 Japanese dance

     

    You’ve got to see it to believe in what we said: anything with Kolaveri will get huge hits!

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfprwzgHDtE&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #7 Violin version

     

    Interesting version, but no great shakes.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBdvjLDiT7o&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #8 Marathi Kolhapuri version

     

    The only reason why this makes it to this list is the bizarre heights people have been to in doing their Kolaveri versions

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_FjmF2K0cQ&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #9 Chipmunk Version

     

    Chipmunk versions are in, not just of Sheila Ki Jawani, but also Why This Kolaveri!

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvHMq1B_3Cc&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

    #10 Side step Mani

     

    Well, actually, you could be better off not viewing this.

    [youtube width=”400″ height=”250″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8uNjyxGgR4[/youtube]
    Nine-u variants-sa. Sa-sa-sa-saa. Not enough-u? Sorry, folks, after having watched so many of them, we couldn’t stop-u talking-u this way-u. Sob, sob!