By Jaisurya Das
Hey, it’s Dear MxM time again! Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me immense pleasure to welcome you to another exciting week.  For the academically inclined, this week’s introduction is devoted to a case in guerrilla marketing in my backyard!
Friday evening 8.30pm, returning from work, I pull into my garage. As is customary, I check my postbox and extract the mail. A slick, sealed envelope addressed to me. No spelling errors either.
I am quite used to my name mauled… Jayasurya and Jeyasuriya, J Suryadas and what have you! This time it was perfect and hence got my attention immediately…
I opened this cover later the same night, and discovered a well-written one-pager on what could become a hugely successful idea that can acquire and retain a mass audience in a jiffy.
It was a letter from a lesser known ISP (Internet Service Provider) who talked about how it has signed up with our building and will soon provide a free lifetime broadband connection for each of the 80 flats with no strings attached. Sounds shady doesn’t it?
As a token, it was also throwing in a 10GB data pack to each flat. All you need, is to connect a router and begin to use it. Post your 10GB you can log on and buy a pre-paid pack. Simple yet brilliant! They also go to say that this can be your spare line in case your existing one (the building is pretty much run by a large telecom company who has wired broadband) is slow or is down for some reason.
No mention of this being the best or that you can replace your existing one. All that it says is that this one’s from us and it’s available to you for life! Yes, lifetime infrastructure to every flat.
Let’s read between the line. Nothing shady at all. What have the ISP folks done?
They have worked out a formula with the society which is obviously happy with this additional service at no cost. They have also managed to ensure that they scale up their infrastructure with just the additional cost of cabling to flats…
Lifetime quite simply means that they retain these households permanently. No one in their senses will decline this since it’s free. Pay as you use. No obligations, no commitments.
If their 10MBPS line delivers as promised, they would have mopped up 80 apartments at one go! Something that the existing providers haven’t managed to do in years. And this is just one apartment block.
Superlative stuff! I would love to meet the marketing professional behind this seemingly simple concept and perhaps learn a few lessons on such veiled aggression.
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Yet another example of how simplicity of thinking can produce the best results.
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Be there no matter what. Someday, you will be integral to the customer! This is probably what is pinned on this marketing head’s board. Amen.
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Well, it’s time to cut to our Q & A for the week with questions from Pune, Mumbai & Delhi.
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Read on my friends..
Sir, why do you always ask for the questioner to name his or her city? While I have no problem in declaring I am from Pune, would it make a difference to you if I was in Patna or Panipat?
Ha ha! Now this is one question I wasn’t prepared for…
Ok, I guess I might as well spill the beans now! I ask for the city simply because it helps me decide the tone and content of my answer to your question.
For instance, if you were in Mumbai, the market environment would be quite different from what it is in Panipat or Patna as you mentioned. You can be rest assured that this information is sought only to be able to give you a more accurate response to your query.
Contrary to what you or anyone else may think, we are not in the stalking business 🙂 Â And yes, may I assure you that bereft of the city, you will still get your answer.. Â Provided of course your question merits it!
I sincerely hope I have been able to address your concern. And If I may have the liberty of asking you a question now….
If you had no problem in mentioning your city, then why didn’t you in the subject line? It’s not always a crime to follow instructions, is it?
Are there any online help platforms for psychiatric help? Also, if one wants some counselling, should one go to a neurologist or a psychiatrist? Please help
There are a few online portals for medical consultation as well basic counselling but this cannot help beyond a point. It is important to visit a good psychiatrist who will best diagnose the problem. A face-to-face interaction is critical for a psychiatrist since it’s not only about a dialogue but also about body language and other parameters.
Yes it’s important to ask around in order to get the right psychiatrist. Yes, all are qualified yet some prescribe drugs rampantly. It’s finally about judgment and hence its best that you take a few days to get all the possible feedback on the right person. This is important.
As for counseling, it’s normally done by clinical psychologists and your psychiatrist may refer you to one should he/ she deem necessary. Since you ask, Neurologists do see many patients with psychiatric disorders and often given them immediate medication but are not really into counselling. Once diagnosed, it’s important to be under the right medical care. There are several qualified, trained professionals across the country and they are well within reach.
Counselling is a specialised stream and there are several qualified people to handle this. Some couple this with other modern methods such as hypnotherapy etc. Â Cognitive behavioural therapy, cognitive re-training etc may be required case-to-case.
For those of you who may be interested in detail, NIMHANS (National Institute of Mental Health and Neuroscience, Bangalore) is considered the ultimate authority on these subjects.
They conduct regular research studies to be able to zone in on issues involving various age cohorts. As is typical of a government facility, NIMHANS sees an ocean of patients from all over the country and yet, each one is given the attention that is required, albeit the long wait.
And yes, it’s as good as free. Selfless service in its true form.
Whatever may the problem, do not let it be. Grab it by the collar and address it! There is a cure in most cases and for the others control.
The other day I requested my office to serve staff ‘Nimbu Pani’ instead of tea. I was clearly told that if I want lemonade, I should get my own. Shouldn’t our media offices adapt with the times and stop serving only the regular tea and coffee to employees?
Wonderful summer cooler that is! Yes, I completely agree with you on this. This is yet another classic example of ‘form beating content’ ! It doesn’t even make business sense since ‘Nimbu Pani’ (fresh lime juice) is am sure cheaper than tea and coffee it were made inhouse.
On the one hand, you want to look after your staff well, and on the other you shy from adapting to what may be necessary, depending on a situation or the environment. This is the larger picture of this seemingly insignificant concern you have raised.
All the same, changing the world isn’t an option, hence it would probably be a good idea for all of you to get together and shun that tea and coffee. Get in your own coolers and let them cringe while they drink their tea in this blazing heat..
Quite simply do an ‘East India Company’ with the management..Boycott!
Yes, an ‘eye for an eye’ is sometimes the best option. And, yes,for the summer, hit those lovely packs of ‘Chhaas’ (spiced buttermilk),lime juice and jal jeera !
I find that my colleague has bad body odour. Not always, but often. I have even told my boss about it but she says that not much can be done. What would you advise is a good way to inform my colleague that she should take care of her BO
Hi, thanks for writing in to Dear MxM!
I do understand your concern and BO Bromhidrosis, Osmidrosis /Ozochrotia) can be a really difficult condition to deal with. Interestingly more often than once, it’s linked to obesity, diabetes mellitus etc and intake of certain food categories. For the academically inclined, BO is caused by bacteria that thrives on our skin when they break down our sweat to acids.
Sweat by itself doesn’t have any odour and only once broken down, is it sensed by us,
And then the inimitable comparisons to pigs!! I mean, why not some other animal. Why does it always have to be a pig? Do pigs sweat? Seriously, who has gone and checked all this rubbish ..!
This is a tricky situation and more so, when it’s a colleague you have to work with day in and day out. It may not be a bad idea to actually get a few articles on this and its prevention, management etc and read it while both of you are at work…
Casual remarks like ‘I wonder If I will get this considering this article says, eating such food can possibly cause BO’ and I am overweight too and so on.. I trust you get the drift.
In such situations, it’s important to be inclusive and seem part of the problem rather than fighting it. This can be the eyeopener as well as the remedy. Hopefully !
No one wants to live with BO and yet in over 80% of the cases the individual is completely unaware of its existence and hence aren’t to blame.
I wish you luck. Coming to think of it, both of you.
[Ends]!!! This week’s done the moment I see this familiar word in parenthesis.. My ‘Ed’ sends me this word each time he feels I am stretching an article far too much.. I of course, make his life difficult by ignoring this and everything else…. !
Yet I know, it’s time to say farewell to this 16th week of 2016..
I do hope you have enjoyed reading Dear MxM over the past few weeks.. Serious overtones, but matters of critical concern. We will not stop at counselling for work, careers, life and more.
For us this means, giving it our best to alleviate larger concerns like depression, anxiety and
burnout. Yes, we are candid,we do not mince words but when it comes to care…
It’s always from our heart. This is what Dear MxM is about. Being there through thick and thin. Thank you my friends for believing in us week after week. This means a lot.
Hopefully we are making a difference to your lives too.
Have a wonderful weekend and do write in with your questions to editor@mxmindia.com with
‘Dear MxM’ and your ‘City’ in the subject line.
Jaisurya Das, the maverick media-evangelist eats, sleeps and romances brands ! His cerebral consulting interventions are aimed at making brands powerful and sustainable. Â Incidentally he is also Contributing Editor of MxM India.
For more information on his work, visit www.xanadu.co.in
The views expressed in this column are his own.

By Jaisurya Das