Category: HARD KNOCKS

By Anil Thakraney

 

In a two-part series, I shall examine the key challenges confronting the Hindi GECs, as well as the road map for the future. Today, let’s examine the current scenario.

 

As I mindlessly surf the channels, I realize that not much has changed in the last decade plus. For years together so many critics and viewers have been carping about it, but it all seems to have fallen on deaf years. Almost all of the Indian television soaps are still stuck with the same old family dramas, the same old kitchen politics. Each year one channel or another launches a new serial that comes with the promise of freshness, it even starts nicely, but by the tenth episode the story regresses into a family natak, laced with plenty of cat fights.

 

To understand this situation, let’s assume for a minute that the channel chiefs know what they are doing, that they aren’t stupid. The easy explanation is that audiences for television soaps essentially constitute housewives, and that these ladies like to watch gharelu khitpit. Well, this could be true to an extent. But then, housewives in America also like to watch Homeland and Prison Break, and by that logic, surely bored housewives out here would like to consume high octane stories. So to blame the viewer, as in ‘we are only dishing out what she wants’, is unfair. Think about this: The same housewife, when she goes to watch movies, prefers zippy, edgy, offbeat content… family dramas are a thing of the distant past in Bollywood. So why would she not want novelty in her soaps? The real problem is that so far, the Hindi entertainment channels have refused to take chances, they have played safe, and this has led to photocopy content across board. So it’s a problem of lack of courage.

 

However, in the recent past, winds of change seem to have started blowing. Anil Kapoor is busy doing the desi version of 24. Amitabh Bachchan has begun shooting for a fictional TV show. Anurag Basu wants to create a new TV serial. Ekta Kapoor, the queen of family dramas, has launched the historical Jodha Akbar (though the family squabbles continue here too, not surprising that, Ektaji can’t avoid those!). Soon, other big stars, movie producers and directors will join the party, and that can only be great news for the Hindi GEC audiences.

 

So can we look forward to an entertainment revolution on TV? Er, not really. Because the change, even if it happens on a large scale, will present its own set of problems and challenges. On Monday, we’ll discuss these, so have patience. When the subject is soaps, even I must be allowed to serialize the article. 🙂

 

PS: Nice press ad from Apple. Good body copy, something that’s now extinct in India. I like how Apple has distilled its entire philosophy into simple words, so that the aam aadmi can connect with it. Another example why Apple is such a loved brand.

 

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

Last week, we discussed why there’s sameness in the desi soaps, why the channels and producers aren’t able to brush off household fights. I also mentioned that things may finally be looking up, what with bada Bollywood stars and directors wanting to take part in television fictional shows, to produce offbeat content. But can their stuff match up to the best of American television, will they be able to raise the bar? No way, and I will explain why.

 

In the last one year, I have watched some truly stunning TV serials from the US. Spartacus, Homeland, House of Cards, Scandal, Prison Break, just to name a few. The budgets are lavish and therefore the quality of production is extremely high. The soaps out there don’t just match the best of Hollywood, they often surpass it. In terms of stories, direction, editing, stunts, special effects, the works. This is what makes the serials magnetic… as a viewer you don’t feel shortchanged, you know you are being rewarded for the time you spend on the serials. This is where Indian producers will take a bad hit, because they simply won’t have access to that sort of funding. So even if the story is interesting, the production quality will make you cringe. Watch Ekta Kapoor’s Jodha Akbar, for example. It’s got tacky written all over it. The sets and the costumes look comical, the acting is third rate and the serious dialogues make you laugh out loud. Am afraid the same fate awaits Anil Kapoor’s copy of 24.

 

Monies aside, there’s another grave problem. Almost all the American serials take on the White House, and not in a flattering way. The US Prez gets routinely depicted as a conniving, cheating, diabolical, unfaithful man, and the junta loves the no-holds-barred approach. Try doing this in India, you will get into serious trouble with our insecure politicians. Also, out there, they honestly deal with the issue of terrorism; they don’t shy away from singling out the community whose young men usually take to militancy. This will be impossible in our ‘vote bank’ politics ruled nation. And once you water the content down, you have already killed the excitement. Add to that: No foul language and absolutely no steamy sex, you are taking about utterly boring fare.

 

And so that’s why I am not very bullish on the Indian GECs. They will experiment, get poor returns, and return to family dramas with a vengeance. Yes, we are stuck with the saas and the bahu, whether we like it or not.

 

PS: How do you promote a cafe that was once a urinal? Well, you have fun with it. And sit back and watch as your act goes viral, resulting in oodles of free publicity. Smart thinking.

[vimeo width=”400″ height=”220″]http://vimeo.com/68843232[/vimeo]

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

For the benefit of young journalists reading this post, I want to discuss the importance of the play of a story, and I shall illustrate this with a report that the TOI fronted a few days back. This is not to fault the newspaper, undoubtedly they carried the said story with noble intentions, but it’s an interesting example to highlight how the story gets played out is often as important as the story itself. It’s about this lady executive who wears an artificial limb, and the torturous time she had passing through airport security. Here’s the link: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Airport-check-of-artificial-leg-leaves-marketing-executive-in-tears/articleshow/21027950.cms

 

Now, we have to feel sorry for Suranjana, indeed, our heart goes out to the lady. You suffer from a serious disability, and then you are made to undergo high stress at the airport. Clearly this is not on. However, the problem is this: Because it’s a news report, you expect the story to be objective in nature, after all, this is not an opinion column. The play by the journalist is biased in this case, and the report doesn’t bother to give us an adequate version from the airport security staff. As a result, the reader is left with the impression that the security personnel at airports are heartless, insensitive souls, and this could be far from the truth.

 

For example, even as I feel sorry for differently abled passengers, and understand their plight and want them to travel in comfort, I have to say this story actually reassures me. Because this means our airport security personnel are going about their work as per the book and minus any emotion. In short, they are doing their job. We live in terrible times, and canny terrorist can and will look for innovative methods to create trouble. And therefore we need kickass security. When you look at the situation from this angle, your view gets changed. And this particular play of the story would also be incorrect, because this too is a subjective opinion, and has no place in a news report.

 

The other concern is, such a biased story in a powerful newspaper would put unnecessary pressure on the security staffers, compelling them to be lenient with those who are differently abled. Is that such a good thing? You know the answer to that one. I know that the Indian media is getting increasingly subjective in its reportage, and television anchors do it every single evening, but I do hope the TOI, a paper that I have read and respected from childhood, doesn’t fall prey to this practice.

 

So then what should ideally have happened? In my opinion, report neutrally. And then run a campaign on how the government can help evolve sensitive security procedures for the differently abled, but without compromising safety.

 

PS: Brilliant commercial from Land Rover. This is the magic that happens when a talented filmmaker, cinematographer and the agency art director work together to create a sparkling ad. You can watch this one again and again and not get bored.

[vimeo width=”400″ height=”220″]http://vimeo.com/65104233[/vimeo]

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

No, I am not jumping up and down with joy now that dance bars will return to Mumbai (unless Shri RR Patil finds a way to circumvent the SC order). This is because I am not a dance bar man, chucking hard-earned money in the direction of girls gyrating shabbily to Bollywood item numbers isn’t my idea of a night out. Also, some of you might be wondering why I am discussing this issue on a media and marketing portal. Well, the answer is simple: Dance bars remind me of the coolest sting I have done in my journalistic career, don’t think I have had so much fun at work, and I want to relate the experience for those who might have missed the story which was carried in Mid-Day.

 

The year was 2005. Patil had ordered the closure of dance bars in the state, his main reasoning was that dance bars are actually pick up joints, that the dancing girls are prostitutes. This got me thinking. Why not suss if the girls are indeed prostituting. Dressed as a filthy rich but sex-starved businessman from Rajasthan (gold chain and all), and accompanied by three photographers pretending to be friends, we hit four of the most happening dance bars in Mumbai on a single night. At each place, I would order beer, enjoy the ‘performance’, shake with the gals (though that’s usually not permitted) and zero in on one. Shower her with lots of cash (billed to Mid-Day, of course), and leave a little note in her hand that contained my cell number. It was clear: If the young lady was indeed a prostitute, she would call for sure. I was a cash-rich dude, after all.

 

Guess what? Days after, not one dance bar babe bothered to contact me, not one. Mid-Day fronted the sensational findings, much to the annoyance and dismay of RR Patil. The minister, unable to deal with the result, got busy dissing such ‘debauched’ style of journalism, haha. But I had super fun doing the story, which explains why it’s still fresh in the mind. Imagine being paid to dance with pretty girls, flirt with them, shower them with money and invite them for a ‘personal’ meet. Ah, what career can be better than that?

 

By the way, I must add a few of my pals, and Tarana (then a jock with Radio Mid-Day), made a snide and hurtful remark. That it was possible the four girls didn’t want to sleep with me for all the money in the world. Ouch, ouch, ouch! This is what Patil should have said in his defence, but to expect our rural netas to be witty is like expecting pothole-free roads in monsoons.

 

PS: Cool ad for a butter brand. Wonderfully captures the joy of cooking, and it’s shot beautifully too. Makes you want to rush to the kitchen and create magic.

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

The Bombay HC has slammed the Maharashtra government for not punishing the cops who arrested the two young girls for their Facebook post in the aftermath of Bal Thackeray’s death. In my post at the time, I pointed out that today’s kids need political education from their parents, as the 24X7 virtually connected young urban India is often disconnected from what happens in the real world. So that the bachchas think before they post. And yet, it must be said what happened to the girls was outrageous. It not only assassinated their right to free speech, the action taken by the cops was completely unjust.

 

And the incident had far reaching implications; it sent alarm bells ringing across the social media, there was a great deal of panic, and I believe many people are still quite wary about what they post. Of course, as I said, people need to look before they leap, but they can’t be fearful all the time, that takes away their fundamental right to expression. Which is why the erring cops ought to have been prosecuted, and not just suspended. This would have ensured policemen think many times before harassing ordinary citizens. Now that the Bombay HC has echoed the same thought, I think it’s time to start an FB campaign to make this happen. We need our virtual space to be vibrant, not spooky.

 

Also, what I found most galling is that on the news channels (the mass media!), politicians regularly insult and defame each other and their rival parties during the heated debates. But absolutely no action gets taken against them. Why? Well, the answer is obvious. Interpretation of the law is different for the aam aadmi and for the rich and powerful. Which means one can slander anyone on TV and nothing will happen, but an innocuous post on FB can send you to jail. Wow!

 

I am hoping that my fiery pals on social media will not let this issue die down. If we keep quiet today, they will come for us tomorrow. We have to ensure the concerned cops are made to pay for their act so that we don’t see a repeat of such unfair incidents in the future.

 

PS: Ever wondered why we don’t get to see such tempting chalkboards outside restaurants and bars in India? Well, guess the proprietors are worried that taporis passing by will use them to play football, or that some kleptos or beggars will walk away with the ‘booty’. Anyway, here’s a listing of the most creative pub chalkboards from the UK. Good fun.

 

Link: http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2013/05/06/50-brilliant-pub-chalkboards/

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

Every monsoon, newspapers go crazy over the issue of potholes, and then the news channels dutifully pick it up. Campaigns get launched, protests happen, municipal officers get interviewed, angry reader letters get printed and then… it’s back to the new year, a new monsoon and new potholes. It’s been no different this year, many newspapers in the metro towns have been raging over these lunar craters.

 

Complete waste of time, money and most importantly, precious newsprint. What is the point in crying about potholes year after year when nothing changes on the road? And nothing will change because potholes, and we all know this damn well, are babies of corruption. Of course, our engineers know how to build good roads (after all, there are no potholes on roads where the so-called VIPs usually travel), so clearly there is a lot of money being made by a lot of people through the dirty holes. Which is why the media must go after the disease, not the symptom. To give you an example, is attacking boils on the body the method to treating chicken pox?

 

The entire media effort should be on exposing, and naming and shaming the individuals and groups responsible for this mess. This would mean carrying out investigative stories and sting operations, going after municipal corporators and engineers who’ve earned monies way beyond their known sources of income, publishing large pictures of the culprits, in short, putting the fear of god in the system. And it’s only fear which will result in better roads, because it will help to control corruption. In fact, the word ‘Rain’ should put dread, not romance, into the hearts of the road maintenance authorities, because they will know the media will get cracking.

 

So then why aren’t the newspapers doing the obvious? Because publishing pictures of potholes with angry captions alongside is easier and cheaper. Well, guys and gals, you know what, I call this lazy journalism. There are people dying on our roads because of the bloody potholes, they aren’t just an irritation anymore. Surely we can do better than screaming and whining.

 

PS: The Japs have found a brand new medium for advertising. No, it has nothing to do with the digital space, they have gone for flesh and blood. Women in Tokyo now carry ads on their thighs. Superb idea, I say! This is one ‘spot’ that can’t be missed, it promises captive audiences. Welcome to thigh land. Hope desi advertisers are taking note.

 

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

I have been reading articles/posts in the trade press on ‘the ad world’s biggest merger’, and I find them half-amusing. Reporters/columnists have been scurrying around trying to find an interesting angle, and industry chiefs have been belting out the usual clichés.

 

Well, here’s the thing: Life will go on as usual. The conflict of interest theory is bollocks, as has been proved by previous mergers, clients will continue to get serviced by their existing agencies. If advertisers sack their agencies, it’s mainly to do with the substandard work they might be doing (especially in the digital space where many traditional agencies continue to struggle), and not because of international shareholding changes.

 

And no, there shan’t be any mass layoffs either, that’s not the reason advertising networks merge. In fact, both, Omnicom and Publicis leaders, would want as less disturbance as possible, they would desire status quo on all levels, so that clients don’t feel edgy and employees don’t feel insecure. In other words, as an employee, whether you are based in Kuala Lumpur or Chicago or Mumbai or Paris, your life will go on as always.

 

Some people have alluded to the likely ‘clash of culture and values’ between an American and a French organization, and I say that’s nonsense. Politicians of the two nations may have an ideological conflict over the Iraq war but businessmen know only one currency, and that’s cash. As long as the money tree grows, ‘culture and value’ differences get sorted in double quick time.

 

Reportedly, Sir Martin Sorrell has stated that the deal is bad for Omnicom’s shareholders. Well, it would be out of character for Sorrell to be a cheerleader for the merger, but yes, that’s the only real impact: It’s the shareholders of the two networks who need to study the fine print, it’s only their lives that get hugely impacted.

 

So then why merge at all? For just one reason: To improve media buying efficiencies. Think about it as two families, who otherwise stay separately, joining hands to shop at the local fish market. They would get a better price for machhi, and having achieved that, the families return home to their routine lives, and cook the fish the way each likes it. Which is why nothing changes.

 

However, there’s one problem with the deal: The big bosses of Omnicom and Publicis will run the show together, as equal partners, there’s no one single leader. This structure seldom works, there can never be two swords in one sheath. I guess in their hurry to raise the toast, Maurice Levy and John Wren forgot this age old maxim.

 

PS: Haha, and I thought only Arnab babu does sensational television interviews like these. Clearly, there are Arnab clones all over the world media. This is the classic case of pakaoing the guest for the sake of pakaoing. Enjoy!

 

Link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/is-this-the-most-embarrassing-interview-fox-news-has-ever-do

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

Fifteen years ago, I was a huge fan of Shobhaa De (hope that’s the spelling she uses these days), in fact, she used to write for the magazine I edited. That’s because De was both, brutally honest and relevant in her columns. Along the way, she misplaced her mojo for unknown reasons, her writing lost the punch, De started openly pandering to the rich and famous, and the only place she has been making a mark is at the Page 3 parties. I lost all interest in her.

 

Well, she’s hit the headlines again and boy, De must be lurving it. Suddenly, politicians of Maharashtra have joined forces to get after her, even the CM (no less!) has found it necessary to react to her tweet. A tweet, which our busy lady might have written more out of boredom than a desire for change, a tweet which is not even a fresh thought, Mumbai as a separate territory is an idea that’s been floating around for decades. But De got lucky, her tweet got picked up. And the Maha netas would want to get involved with emotive stuff like this because most of them are incapable of doing any real work for the city and the state. Guess Ms De will soon throw a big party to celebrate her return to relevance.

 

Speaking for myself, I felt happy that the writer had found the long lost attitude, but that feeling was quickly demolished when I watched the lady defend her tweet on television. Ma’am has chickened out, you see. De claims she stands by the thought, but then throws in defeated words like ‘satire’, ‘I didn’t mean it’, etc. What a shame! She ought to have walked the talk, and demanded that Mumbai must get separate statehood. That’s what many Mumbaikars would want because everyone knows that the Maharashtra netas have collectively milked Mumbai of its cash but have done nothing in return for the once great city. Here was a chance for De to stand up for the right thing, to be a leader for change, a feisty leader we badly need. But she got cold feet and ducked out. Nope, the mojo isn’t back, but the phokat publicity is. Good for the lady, she can get cracking on her next salacious book. And the next happening party. Cheers!

 

PS: Giffgaff is a UK mobile phone operator. They are different, and they don’t want consumers to shy away because they are different. And to make that point, the funky advertiser has used zombies in the commercial. It’s a novel idea but risky too, I found the ad quite scary!

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

Must say in the beginning, the media ODing on this lady called Durga Shakti was getting on my nerves. An IAS officer from Uttar Pradesh has a run-in with the state CM, toh bhaiyya main kya karoon? What has it got to do with me, and indeed, the rest of India? I assumed this was yet another case of the politics-obsessed Delhi-based journos going berserk over a localized story, unmindful of its irrelevance to the nation. Truth is, I am more worried about the huge pothole that’s sprouted near my building, one that almost demolished my car the other day.

 

However, after I decided to (reluctantly) pay some attention to the story, I realized this is a bigger game, it’s about the clash of politics and bureaucracy. The media has decided to stand up for Ms Durga, and in principle, I support it. From what one gathers from the media reports, here’s an honest officer being victimized by her bosses. And a campaign for Durga will motivate the rest of the IAS officers in the nation, or so one hopes, though I am afraid nothing really will come from this. Because the hard reality is this: just as the netas, a majority of the babu class in India is corrupt, and the rot has sunk deep into the system. In fact, the two often collaborate to screw the nation. And to be fair, often the babus have no choice in the matter because the netas decide their destiny; if an upright babu fights against the system, he/she gets promptly suspended. In such a pathetic scenario, a media campaign for one officer doesn’t appear to be a game-changing idea.

 

Therefore the media effort must instead focus on a structural change, one that will have a long-term impact on the nation. The idea should be to achieve greater autonomy and more power for the bureaucrats, so that they are armed with enough teeth to put checks and balances on chor netas, to stand up to them. I have no idea how that can be done, that’s for the experts to figure out. Perhaps one of the large media companies can set up a forum with these experts to arrive at possible solutions. And then put pressure on the political class to make it happen.

 

And that shall be the real deal. If the media’s focus is only to get Ms Durga re-instated in her job, then the whole exercise is a waste of time. I’d rather the media worked harder on how to make the lethal pothole down my road go away. For good.

 

PS: Really cool resignation letter. Hope creative people in the desi ad world write such witty letters when they quit. They should, after all there’s no client or client servicing exec around to punch holes. 🙂

 

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2013/07/25/sherwood-anderson-resignation-letter/?utm_source=buffer&utm_campaign=Buffer&utm_content=bufferf015e&utm_medium=twitter

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney

 

By Anil Thakraney

 

Okay, so I have finished four seasons of the American TV serial, Prison Break. It cost me a huge number of man hours, but I was intensely mesmerized and could not stop. Stuff like filing of tax returns and a routine heart check-up had to take a backseat. In a previous post, I have discussed in detail why Hindi GECs find it very difficult to match the standards of a Prison Break and yet, there are key learnings, and these can be useful for desi soap makers. So here goes:

 

More than anything else, what got me hooked is a sense of bonding with the characters. Not only do you identify with their predicament, you want them to win and be happy. (This despite the fact that some of these guys are hardened criminals.) And, even more significantly, these are blokes you want to hang out with, to be pals with. Now this doesn’t cost a lot of money to achieve, what you need is a superlative casting director. Producers of Indian serials often don’t pay attention to this issue which is critical for television (more than movies) because serials run for a long period.

 

The super fast pace is another thing, and again, it’s not costly to do, it has to do with the fertile imagination of the writers. Prison Break’s various plots and sub-plots move at a frenetic pace, things change suddenly and shockingly, so much so that you can’t afford to take your eyes off the screen even for a few seconds. This is what makes Prison Break addictive, the unpredictability factor. Haven’t seen much of this in desi soaps, you can not only predict what will happen in the next episode, you can correctly guess the story twenty episodes down the line. That really sucks.

 

Attention to detail in terms of clothes, props and sets. Again, because US serial makers have access to more funds, life becomes easier. But not all of it needs big bucks, it’s simply a matter of someone keeping an eye. For example, I have seen bahus in our weepy serials wearing lipstick, and in the very next shot, it’s gone! This means there is a great deal of carelessness in production, and as a viewer, these sorts of bloopers put you off.

 

Lastly, the background score. Captivating and brilliantly produced to embellish the situations and the pace. Prison Break’s music has its own fan following, key in ‘Prison Break Background Music’ on Google and you’ll land a staggering 1,670,000 results. Again, this isn’t about mega funds, Indian serial makers don’t necessarily need to sign up AR Rahman. It’s a question of briefing the music composers correctly, and then inspiring them to come up with their best.

 

By the way, there is one deadly lesson they have learnt from us: Dead characters suddenly come alive! Ektaji should be proud. 🙂

 

Anil Thakraney is a senior journalist and commentator. He is also Editor-at-Large, MxMIndia. The views expressed here are his own. He can be reached via Twitter at @anilthakraney